I'm Gonna Touch Her Neck

I'm going to be honest with you guys. I have not been thinking about what I'm going to write here at all today. You see, Brendan Kelly (bassist of The Lawrence Arms) made three posts in his blog that said that he did, did not, and then did again have a surprise for us. And with the release of The Lawrence Arms new 7" next Tuesday, it was pretty much implied that he was going to post a leak. Well, he never ended up posting the surprise. But that did not stop me from spending all day scouring the internet in search of a leak. All I ended up finding was a couple people on Last.fm with plays of the new EP, a bunch of people also searching for a leak, thirty second clips of the songs on Amazon, and a British radio show that played one of the songs from the EP. So I guess my searches did not end in a total failure, but I didn't even come close to finding what I wanted. All I can hope is that Brendan Kelly posts in his blog tomorrow letting me know what's up. Because I would really appreciate a leak right about now. It's simply barbaric having to wait until street date to hear a new album. Oh yeah! But in my searches, I did find a site streaming a song from the upcoming A Wilhelm Scream EP. It's great, just in case you weren't sure. But anyway, since I didn't take the time to think of a story for all of you, I'll ramble for a bit, and we'll see if that inspires anything.

Today ended up being a gorgeous fall day. But guess who didn't take one step outside? This guy right here. Yes, I was at the helm of the internet today searching for something that isn't there. But I did end up taking a 15 minute break from searching through all of these tubes to talk to Kate on the phone. This is when I found out that it was a gorgeous day. Not only did Kate let me know how gorgeous the day was, but I sat by the window while talking to her, and noticed how beautiful it was. But we talked about things like psychology, how big of a jerk Brendan Kelly is being, but how much we love him, anyway. How I'm jealous that Kate will be in Chicago this weekend seeing The Lawrence Arms was also discussed. We also went into detail about a substance abusing plant that Kate likes to sit next to in between classes. So far, she's found it with an empty beer container and a pack of cigarettes. So Kate's been trying to help the plant overcome its addiction. I'm not usually a big phone guy. You won't normally see me just shooting the shit over the phone, but it was definitely a nice change of pace from my normal all business approach to the phone. So if anyone reading this who has my phone number would ever just like to chat over the phone, feel free to call me. I'd love to hear from you.

Another thing we talked about was jokes. Not just any jokes, mind you. The kind of jokes that are only funny to those with a deep interest in the topic of the joke. You know, like band humor, science geek jokes, psychology jokes. These jokes are all dumb and not funny. Sure, the science geek loves pulling out the ol' "A neutron walks into a bar and asks the bartender, 'How much for a beer?' The bartender looks at him and says, 'For you, no charge.'" and while all his science geek friends laugh it up, everyone else in the room is hanging themselves. That's a miserable joke. And it has nothing to do with not "getting it." It's just not funny. Now believe me, I love bad jokes. Hell, most of my material comes from popsicle sticks, but I would never stoop so low as to tell someone a joke catered to science kids, and expect anyone to enjoy it. And I don't mean to pick on science kids. Kate was telling me how her and her psychology friends like to respond to each other with "And how does that make you feel?" all the time. Groan... There is no way that that joke could not get real old real fast. I don't care how into psychology you are. That's just plain obnoxious. But none of these jokes compare to band kid jokes. These are the jokes I've had to deal with since the beginning of high school. I wasn't even really a band kid, but I sure hung out with a lot of them. I was in ska bands! What do you expect?! But these band kids have the worst jokes known to man. The most common one I hear is "What do you call a _____ player with half a brain? Gifted" I couldn't fill in the blank with that joke, because all the band kids use it against all the other kids in band. So the joke is pretty much that all band kids are idiots. Well I'm sorry to say this, but that's not a joke. That's true. Anyone who would laugh at a dumb joke like that must be an idiot. But I could go on forever about dumb band jokes I've had to deal with, but I won't torture you all. The point of all this should be clear, though. Jokes specific to your major/job/concentration/whatever are not funny. If you're going to tell them, stick to telling them to other dorks that can relate. It still won't be funny, but I'm sure they'll all laugh, because they understand it.

Well I think that's all that I have for tonight. Sorry it's all over the place, but I had no time to prepare today. Hopefully, I will receive my surprise from Brendan Kelly tomorrow, so I can focus on remembering fun stories about things I've done. So I will see you all tomorrow. Bye bye!