I Jerk Off Inside Books And Give Life To Words

Hey there, sports fans. How was everyone's day? I hope they were great. My day was pretty good. I didn't do much. I went to visit my grandmother, ate dinner, made a call or two (one), the Canucks won. It was a pretty good day. I definitely have no reason to complain. This entry may end up being a bit of a short one, though. First off, I have nothing to complain about. Second off, I either don't lead as interesting of a life as I thought I did, or I just don't remember all of the cool things I do. This blog puts a lot of pressure on me to remember all of my hilarious and heartwarming adventures. But I think I can come up with something half-assed for all of you tonight.

You know what I like to do with friends when we can't think of anything else to do? I like to get lost. I just like to get in the car with a friend or two, put on some groovin' tunes, and drive around seeing if we can get lost. So far, I have not been able to get myself really lost yet. My sense of direction is just too great. I remember one of the first times I just went out driving with a friend. It was Christian and me, and I'm not even sure why we decided to do it. I do remember we listened through the entirety of the album How It Goes by Big D and the Kids Table, though. Now most of this adventure was pretty unmemorable. I remember we joked around about how we were driving around looking for good spots to bring chicks to make out. We were pretty cool back then. But there is one vivid memory I have from this particular trip. We were driving around in Brookfield, and we took a turn onto this dark, dirt road. And once we were on it, I was instantly reminded of that scary road from Disney's Beauty and the Beast. You know... The road with all the wolves on it that old dude took on the way to wherever he was going. But this was a classic scary road. It was dark out. It was a dirt road. There were trees on either side, bending over the road. There was a blue mist, and all that scary stuff. There were probably wolves too. Who knows?! But we kept on going on the road. When we drove about half way down it, we saw a man walking on the road in the opposite direction. Now this was probably the creepiest looking dude we've ever seen. It may have just been the setting we were seeing him in, but he was creepy. He was very unkempt, with long messy hair and beard. He was wearing a dirty flannel shirt and a wool hat. And he was holding a bag. The bag also had a head in it. Now I may not have proof of that last claim, but I think it's pretty obvious that the bag had a head in it. And as we slowly passed him, he gave us a crazy stare. The man was obviously a psychopath and a murderer. So we figured it would be a good idea to keep on driving. The only problem with that was that the road ended up being a dead end. Uh oh! So we had to turn around and drive right past this crazed murderer again! We thought for sure he'd be waiting for us with an axe and two more bags for our heads. We were definitely going to become the victims of some cheesy horror flick deaths, and there was nothing we could do about it. So we spent a little time trying to come to terms with our fate, and then we headed back down the road awaiting our cinematic fate. But it never came. We got off the creepy road, drove around for a bit longer, and eventually headed home. And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how you leave an audience underwhelmed, and disappointed. No climaxes in my stories! Enjoy your blue balls.

Alright. That's all for tonight, folks. I have school in the early afternoon. So I should probably wake up at least by 11. I also need to give those Sports Authority jerks a call too. Then I have a whole day of fun planned for myself involving a delicious dinner in Sherman, and a nerdy Halloween party in Meriden. All of that should leave me with plenty of material for tomorrow's entry. Okay. Time to hit the bed. See you tomorrow, pals!