State of the Internet Address

My break from the internet seems to be finished. Sure, I was gone for awhile, but I was out getting ammunition for all my loyal readers. Plus, I know not posting just made you want it more, you dirty fucking perverts. But I was just sitting here bored on my computer, and figured I'd get back to updating this thing. I've missed all you guys. I just haven't been on the internet long enough the past couple months to give you guys the lowdown on what's happenin' in the world today. But here I am! What will I start off with? The State of the Union Address? That'd be great, but I didn't watch it. Not because I didn't want to, but because I was out being a social butterfly. Same reason I haven't been keeping you guys in the loop. But I did make up for missing the State of the Union by watching Obama talk to a crowd of Tampa Bay citizens. Sure, I only caught the end of that, but I know Obama's going to build a whole bunch of fast trains. I'm pretty psyched about that. The rest of the world has fast trains. There's no reason we shouldn't, as well. But yeah, look forward to crazy fast trains coming in America's future. I guess while Obama was State of the Union-ing last night, I was cruising erect dongs with my pal Anthony on chatroulette.com. If you guys haven't heard, chatroulette.com is a website where it randomly links you up in a video chat with other people using the site. Most of the site's users are just dudes masturbating to the camera. That's cool. Whatever. But these guys have the nerve to get pissed off when I watch them beat their meat. What are you doing choking the chicken on the internet if you don't want me to watch? Fuck. It's a backwards world we live in, guys. Alright. Enough about the shameful state of the internet.

So this past weekend, my pal Christian and I went on a little trip. We packed up my car full of musical instruments and a strong sense of adventure, and made our way to New Brunswick, New Jersey. We were on our way to Rutgers to visit our pal and bandmate Kate, record some music, and eat food at the same eateries that Adam from Man vs. Food ate at. It was a Wet Hot American Winter if I've ever seen one. After we got there, and unpacked the car, while looking like some dudes in a really cool band to any passerbys, we were feeling pretty hungry. It's a pretty famishing job feeling as cool and superior as we do. So we crossed the street and headed over to the RU Hungry Grease Truck. The place was hoppin'. Everyone was in line to get a fat sandwich. That's one of their things. All of the sandwiches have the word "fat" before them. So I grabbed myself a Fat Mojo, which was chicken fingers, mozzarella sticks, honey mustard dressing, and french fries. Oh yeah. All of the sandwiches have fries piled on them. They're also some of the best fries I've ever had. But anyway,Christian got the Fat Moon, which was chicken fingers, bacon, egg, french fries, lettuce, tomato, mayo, and ketchup. On the menu, lettuce and tomato were listed as L.T. Christian had no idea what it meant at first, and being that L.T. was listed right next to Mayo, he referred to it as Lieutenant Mayo. We all had a great laugh. Kate got herself a Fat ZBT, which isn't surprising considering her devotion to Greek life. But her sandwich was a can of Busch Lite in a grinder roll with fries on top. But really, I just don't remember what Kate's sandwich was. It did have barbecue sauce on it, though. I love barbecue sauce. Man, all I talk about on this blog is food. Well I'm not stopping now. There's two more meals we had in Jersey, and plenty of snacks. But before we ate again, we took a drive to an apartment that Kate was thinking about moving into. We were led around the apartment by some kind-hearted Jersey native. He was a big guy, and seemed like a Jersey stereotype, but he was a good dude who loved his family. I'd lease an apartment from him any day. But the apartment was really nice. It was very tall. Lots of headroom. I liked the looks of it quite a bit. Too bad that doesn't matter. It ain't my apartment. But after the apartment, we headed to Stop & Shop to prepare for the breakfast we'd be making the next morning. On our way to the grocery store, we were faced with the strangest of occurrences, though. We were stopped at a red light and some people on the side of the street were trying to get our attention. They seemed to be trying to get us to look at the other side of the street. Maybe they just didn't like our faces. Or MAYBE they were trying to get us to look at the goat hanging out in the driver's seat of a car parked on the side of the road! What was a goat doing in a parked car on the streets of Jersey? It was absurd to say the least, but I wasn't about to question it. I'm sure he worked just as hard, if not harder than anyone else in order to get his license. Far be it from me to judge a goat in a car. And eventually the light turned green, and we were on our way to the grocery store. The grocery store was pretty boring. We grabbed pancake stuff, home fries stuff, and saw some disgusting looking rotten fruits and vegetables. Fuckin' Jersey, man. So we headed back to Kate's dorm finally and just hung out for a bit. Eventually we worked up the desire to start recording music. It started off smoothly, and we laid down a bunch of tracks. Then we started being a bunch of silly geese, and started getting nothing done. Unless playing around with my keyboard's accompaniment setting, and creating lovely renditions of Big D and the Kids Table's classic hit Noise Complaint. Talk about a bad song. Am I right? But then we got semi-focused and...

...

Sorry. I took a break mid-sentence to go have dinner. Where was I? Oh yes. We got semi-focused and started to lay down vocals. We didn't get anything done, but we were pretty focused. We had some pretty good takes, but Kate was having an issue with making up words. Like "ploe." Really, Kate? That's the word you're going to make up? Really? Oh well. We didn't get any vocals done, and eventually gave up on recording. I think somewhere before we gave up on recording we also went out to dinner. For dinner, we took a walk over to a stromboli place that Man vs Food also visited. Apparently, they had a huge selection of beer there. So it was packed with college kids, for sure. It ended up being worth it, though. The food there was killer. Having been so jealous of Kate's barbecue sauce lunch, I opted to get a pulled pork stromboli. Great choice on my part. It was delicious. Christian got some classic Italian stromboli, and Kate got some huge broccoli stromboli. She was planning on saving some of it to feed her for a week afterward. The bread they made those strombolis with was the best. Jersey has great bread. Okay. Now we're caught up on dinner. So we gave up on recording, and started playing some Super Smash Bros on Kate's N64. We all ended up winning, because we all had the most fun. Then it was bed time. Kate went into her room, and Christian and I had the common room to ourselves. So we watched Fight Club and then fell asleep. The next morning we had every intention of recording, but we didn't. We did make breakfast, though. Christian tried to impress us with his great pancake making skills, but just embarrassed himself. So Kate took over, and made dumb silver dollar pancakes. So it was on me to make perfect pancakes. And wouldn't you know it, I pulled through. Just another thing I'm the best at. I made some beautiful blueberry pancakes that I had with a lovely boysenberry syrup. Kate did make some great home fries, though. That's why we call her potato girl, after all. The rest of our Jersey adventure involved playing some more N64, meeting Kate's friend/future roommate and her dog, and watching the first half of the Jets game where they lost to the Colts. But yeah, then we left and concluded our Jersey adventure. Now we just need to finish recording at some point. Know what I mean, dudes?!

Well how's that for getting back on the horse? And if I'm not mistaken, this is also my 60th entry. What a significant number! I'm not sure what it's significant to, but that's not important. It was a great weekend, and now I'm back home being a cool dude. You know, working, hanging out with pals, posting in blogs, wearing sunglasses. Cool dude things. Yeah, you probably wouldn't know. Well I hope you all enjoyed my triumphant return as king of the internet. Hopefully, I'll keep up with this thing. But don't expect me to choose you guys over hanging out with real friends. See you when I see you, blag!

TRIUMPHANT RETURN!

Hey! Remember me?! Sorry I haven't written in ages. My excuses are split between doing my last bit of work I had for school and wanting to go to sleep early when I had work in the AM. But now I don't need to worry about school anymore. I finished forever. Yes, that's right. I'm done with college. It only took me four and a half years, but I eventually won that game. I took my last final yesterday. I knocked out eight quality essays, sold my books from the past few semesters, and then got the hell out of that school. Now I don't need to be back there until the graduation ceremony in May. Pretty exciting. Right, guys? Yes, it sure is. I think with all of this morning working I've been doing, I've started to develop a normal sleep schedule, and I'd really rather not do that. I don't like feeling really tired this early. Well I'm sure I'll be getting less hours at work once Christmas is over, so I'll totally be able to get back in the habit of going to sleep at 4am and getting up at noon. That's the sleep schedule for me. Speaking of work, I had a visitor today. I know what you're saying. I work about an hour away from where I live. Why would I be getting visitors. Well, I have friends all over this state and beyond. I'm a popular guy. But today Neil stopped by the ol' store, and brought me some Taco Bell! What a guy. He got me a Cheesy Bean and Rice Burrito and some Fiesta Potatoes. He also loaded my bag up with Fire Sauce. So I ended up having a pretty great lunch. The only issue was the Taco Bell people forgetting to put a spork in the food bag. So I couldn't eat the Fiesta Potatoes until I got home. And as I found out, Fiesta Potatoes aren't all that great when microwaved. But that sure didn't stop me from going to town on them. Alright, let's do a recap of the past couple days.

To keep on the subject of food, I was woken up this past Tuesday by a phone call from my friend Anthony Depoto. And being woken up by a call from Anthony only ever means one thing. Lunch date at Century Buffet. Now we hadn't gone to Century Buffet since the summer, and since then, this fine Chinese eatery had transformed into Grand Century Buffet. For those of you who have never been to Century Buffet, it has about the worst food I've ever paid to eat, let alone paid to eat on a semi-regular basis. And as we soon found out, nothing had changed with the food since adding "Grand" to the name. They did make the place look a whole lot fancier, though. Most of the chairs still had the plastic covering on the seats that they were packaged with. But this place looked relatively fancier compared to what it used to look like. This, in a way, made the food taste worse. I guess that's a result of higher expectations from the nicer atmosphere, though. But even though the food sucks, I still piled my plate high. I had about eight or nine varieties of chicken on my plate. It was the worst. But I finished that plate, god dammit. I even went back for some chocolate soft serve ice cream. After that, Anthony and I headed to WCSU to see all of his old classmates. It was a lovely reunion, for sure. Apparently, we weren't done eating, though. We decided it would be a great idea to get some more ice cream. So we took a drive to Il Bacio, and had ice cream. I got some pumpkin ice cream with caramel, because I need to get in as many pumpkin flavored things as possible before they all go away. The rest of the day is all a blur. We went to East Coast Music Mall, the regular mall, and some auto shop where the employees did not want to sell anything ever. What a couple of sad sacks they were. But what a premium day it ended up being. I had plans to go home afterward and study for my Marketing final the next day, but that never happened. I'm pretty sure I killed it anyway, though. I am a pretty great marketer, after all.

Yesterday was another day where adventures started with food. AJ and I were discussing top secret plans over the internet, and somehow grilled cheese, tomato soup, and milkshakes got brought up. So AJ asked if I wanted to go get those food items right then and there. Now I had just eaten dinner, but I said "fuck yes!" Grilled cheese, tomato soup, and milkshakes is the best meal around. So AJ came to pick me up, and we decided that the New Holiday Diner would be a good bet for getting that meal. So we go there, and look through the menu. They don't have tomato soup, but that's also pretty tough to find in diners these days. Or at least I'm confident that none of you have any evidence to disprove that. But we were happy enough with the grilled cheese and milkshakes. AJ got a vanilla milkshake and a side of onion rings with his order. I opted for the chocolate milkshake and fries. I also got tomato on my grilled cheese in the hopes that it would at least make up for the lack of tomato soup a little bit. So while we're eating this delicious meal, the most absurd regulars keep coming in. These two people that came in, started asking if the staff could take a picture of them. It just seemed like such an odd request. Who wants to get their picture taken at the New Holiday Diner. It was bizarre. Then our waitress started talking to other tables about Gaylordsville. AJ and I probably wouldn't have thought twice about it, had she not kept repeating "Gaylordsville" over and over again. Then she started talking about how there's a place in Gaylordsville where a woman makes life sized replicas of people and animals out of papier mache. So after hearing a number of other oddball conversations, AJ and I decided to make our way out. But we also needed to know if this woman was batshit crazy. So we decided to take a ride to Gaylordsville to see if these papier mache statues were really there. This was made easy by the fact that this woman gave pretty precise directions to the place we were going. So we made our way to Gaylordsville and it turns out that this woman wasn't bullshitting us. There was a whole huge yard full of papier mache statues just chilling out. It ended up being pretty neat, actually. So I took a couple pictures, and then AJ and I made our way back to good ol' Danbury. From there, we played video games for a couple hours, and then I kicked him out so I could go to sleep.

Speaking of that thing I just spoke of, I'm going to bed. I've been falling asleep at the keyboard here. I need to work on that sleep schedule of mine it seems. There's no pride in going to sleep at 1:30am. But until then, I am off to bed. I don't think I'll have any time to write tomorrow, but I'm going to try and get back to a regular writing schedule soon. Look forward to it! And hang out with me, guys! I know you're home from break! See you soon, cool kids!

I ain't afraid of nothin'! I ain't even afraid of the devil! I am the devil!

So in breaking news, there was an armed robbery in a dorm at the school that I still go to for less than a week. I always told people that dorm life at WCSU sucks, but nobody ever listens to me. But it just goes to show you. If you don't listen to me, you'll be robbed at gunpoint in the very place that you rest your head every night. Oh, and just to clarify, there were no injuries, so I am good to go on whatever hilarious jokes I can come up with. Let's talk about this dumb robber, though. Who the fuck robs a bunch of poor college kids? Sure, we're in the richest county in the United States, but college kids are still poor. I guess the robber could have made off with a small fortune in empty Keystone Light cans, but it sounds kind of fishy to me. Dumb robber robbing dumb kids. Whatever. Glad I quit dorming at WCSU. At least the robber had the decency to not shit in the sink. Man, nobody had it worse than me while dorming. Shit sinks, pube toilets, bloody vomit, loud dumb kids, loud dumb kids with guitars. I guess that's all just part of the college experience, but it was pretty lame. Good thing I took 3 years to do something about that.

Speaking of horrible experiences, did anyone catch the season finale of Top Chef last night? Fuck, man. Michael? Really?! Let alone the fact that my boy Kevin was the clear winner, you couldn't at least go with the Volt bro that I didn't hate? Michael was just fucking annoying, and a two-faced little punk to boot. Sure, I guess this wasn't a personality contest, but Michael can't even cook a tiny cake. What a dipshit! If you had to go with a Voltagio brother, Brian was the clear choice. Not only does he seem like a much cooler guy in general, but he consistently cooked much better than his brother throughout the whole series. But that's just if we had to pick one of the brothers. Kevin was the one who should have taken the whole thing. I just really want to hang out with Kevin. He seems like such a cool guy, and he could cook me delicious food, too. He even won the Viewer's Poll for who should be the winner. He had 58% of the vote! He's the people's chef! There's no denying it. But fuckin' Michael, man. Worst outcome ever. I just wanted to knock the stupid fucking backwards hat off his dumb head. He looked like some sort of Offspring superfan. Fucking dork.

To cool myself down after that incident, I watched my recording of Man Vs Food: Rutgers. It really made me want to visit Kate all the time, if only for meals. They had this fantastic looking Stromboli place, that I really wanted to try. The host kept calling it a "'boli" though, and I wanted to punch him right in the face. I fucking hate Adam. Oh, and if I wasn't already riled up enough from stupid Top Chef, my recording started skipping, and if it didn't end up fixing itself, I would have flipped the fuck out. But it did, so I continued watching the stupid fat guy on the show I love. Then he did the challenge at the R U Hungry Grease Truck where he had to eat 5 huge sandwiches in 45 minutes. He couldn't do it, though. He was too busy talking about lame things, and playing up the drama that he couldn't nail his fifth sandwich before time ran out. And he lost on a veggie burger. What a complete failure. Also, Rutgers seems to be filled with a lot of tools. Or maybe that's just college. But either way, I want to go to Rutgers and eat all the time. Make it happen, Kate!

You know what else pissed me off yesterday? My Lawrence Arms 10th Anniversary hoodie seemed to have sprouted a small hole in it. I have no idea how it happened, or when it happened, but it only added to my disdain for Wednesday night. Sure, it's an easy patch, but I'm not happy that it got a hole in it in the first place. That hoodie was a gift! Kate, out of the kindness of her heart, got it for me when she went to The Lawrence Arms' 10th Anniversary show. And now I have to have her sew it up for me? That doesn't show very much appreciation! I look like some sort of jerk now! Kate probably hates me or something! I don't know. It wouldn't be a big surprise, considering how everything else bad happened to me last night. Jeeze! Nobody has ever had it worse than me! Not in the first world! Not in the third! Not in any!

I also had that doctor's appointment yesterday. Remember?! Well that went pretty well. Apparently, I'm 6'3" and 156lbs. Haven't changed in height or weight since my last physical, which was back in 2005. I'm awesome. When he asked me if there was any things I'd like to discuss with him, I mentioned my gross hands. You see, I have very clammy hands. They're either cold and wet, or hot and sweaty all the time. They're very infrequently pleasant. So I mentioned this to him, and he started talking to me about football. It was ridiculous. He tried to relate it to my issue, but he was really just talking about football, and mentioning the hand warmers they use on the sidelines. Well needless to say, he didn't help me out at all with that issue, so I guess I'm stuck with gross hands. Sorry, Kate!

Thank goodness today went off without a hitch, though. Right? What a swell day. Sure, I did some hard working today at the ol' job, but I don't actually mind keeping busy at work. Plus, all of my coworkers kept it fun. My boss and I did some yelling back and forth, but it was all in good fun. At least I think so. Who knows what she thinks. But I also got to go to Elmer's Diner for dinner. There I got to satiate the craving I've been having for pancakes, lately. Got some banana pancakes with real maple syrup and a side of home fries. Chocolate milk to drink. You can accuse me of being a little kid all you want, but I think we both know that a kid wouldn't order real maple syrup. They'd get that fake crap. No thanks to that, man! Also, the Canucks won today! And my boy Rick Rypien beat up another guy much bigger than him. His little protege, Tanner Glass got into a scrap too. He's coming along great as a fighter. Oh well. I think I'm going to end this here. And what better note to end you on than a happy one? Cool! Bye!

All New Material!

A big holiday just passed on Sunday. I forgot to write about it, I guess. I must have been too caught up in the festivities. But this past Sunday was the one year anniversary of me getting rid of my big, dumb hair. That's right. For about 5 years or so before last December 6th, I was sporting long and flowing red curls. I thought I was the coolest, which is why I let it last as long as it did. But seriously, who needs the hassle of long, dumb hair? It's a bitch to wash (which is why I never used to), it causes old people to make comments, it's loved by others more as a novelty than as a nice-looking hairstyle, and myriad other issues. Not worth it. I should have listened to that senile old man that accosted me on my first day of college. "A few years in the military would do you a world of good" he said. "I'm so sorry! Come along now, grandpa." his family would say. And you know what? That old man was completely wrong, but if I had gotten that haircut then, I'd like to think that the crazy old coot would have been proud of me. So this entry is dedicated to the inappropriate grandfather I briefly met on my first day of college. Because of you, I got my hair cut a year ago. I remember the whole thing. I didn't tell any of my immediate family what I was going to do, but I had been planning it for awhile. I was a little nervous, because I didn't know what it was going to look like, so I did some research. I looked through pictures of good-looking dudes, and finally settled on the dude who I thought I would look best as. And as you can probably all tell, I went with the Frank Turner. It's all the rage in the UK. So I went to the fancy place where I get all of my haircuts, and told my hairdresser exactly what I wanted. It didn't quite turn out like the Frank Turner I was envisioning, but I ended up looking damn good. And thank goodness for that. I also got to donate all of that hair I got chopped off to Locks of Love. So not only did I end up looking great, I ended up doing something great. What a guy, eh? But anyway, I made my way home after that, and surprised my family! It was great! My mom saw me and started completely ignoring whoever she was on the phone with to make comments about me. It was cute. I was the star of the day, for sure. And I've had that short hair ever since! And now it's my brother who's the long-haired hippie. I think it's safe to say that a few years in the military would do him a world of good.

So tonight I went on a little bit of a music downloading spree. Not just any sort of music, though. You can't just go into a downloading spree without a clear focus in mind. That's just anarchy, and we can't have that. But tonight my downloading concentration was on female singer-songwriters. You see, Jenny Owen Young's Transmitter Failure has been getting some heavy rotation lately, so I've been in the mood for some girl power. Know what I mean? But it was definitely a good night of downloading. It made me feel like a real heel for sleeping on Gregory & The Hawk for so long. What a dummy I was! But that's rectified, and I'm all set with some brand new girl-folk. I still haven't been able to find my girl Lauren Zettler anywhere online, though. She should tour around here so I can grab her music from her. So, in case you're reading, Lauren, tour here so I can buy your music. Also, Kate, don't worry. It's all in your folder.

Hmm... What else? Oh yeah! I'm going to the doctor's tomorrow. That's pretty neat, right? And all of you worry warts can calm down. There's nothing wrong with me. I'm just going in for a checkup. I figure it's a good idea considering I'll be losing the ol' health insurance soon. So I guess there very well could end up being a lot wrong with me. Hell, I never ever go to the doctor's, so I could be filled with disease. I might even have some broken limbs for all I know. But know this: I'm not going to the doctor's because I feel sick. Hell, I'm never really sick. So hopefully you can rest easily knowing that much. Maybe I'll even find out how tall I am and how much I weigh! Wouldn't that be exciting?! Oh well! Being that I'll be going to the doctor's office tomorrow, I should probably think about heading to bed soon. And that all starts with ending this blog. So, as much as you all wish I could just write an entry that went on forever, I will be ending it right here. Look forward to the exciting results of my doctor's visit tomorrow! Bye, kids!

Come To The Sabbat! Satan's There!

What's the point of secret tracks on albums? And why do some bands feel the need to put them after obnoxiously long breaks of silence on an album? I guess I can understand a track being secret if it is on an album that has a certain theme or concept throughout the rest of the album that the secret track doesn't follow, but I don't need 30 minutes of silence to understand that we're changing gears. It's just silly, really. But some bands will even tag a secret track onto an album that just sounds like a bunch of songs thrown together. None of the other songs share a theme, but still the secret track needs to be separated. I don't like it, man. No, I do not. The absolute worst is getting the albums where you wait through all the silence only to be disappointed by something that isn't even another song. And yes, I realize that it's pretty easy to skip all of the silence, but on your first listen, you can't skip through. You might miss something! There are also other situations where it's not so easy just to skip through. Like if I'm driving, I can't be fumbling around with my iPod, or my CD player. That shit's dangerous. And most of the time, these secret tracks end up being crap, anyway. It's usually some crappy cover, some joke song that's only funny to the band, or a poorly recorded live song. But that's not to say that there aren't some winners out there, as well. Take the secret track at the end of Propagandhi's new album, Supporting Caste. It's well worth the wait. And yes, it's a joke song, but it actually does the job of making me laugh. There's also the Warped Tour bashing song at the end of Oh! Calcutta! by The Lawrence Arms. It's a great song. The Lawrence Arms are also great at country. I wouldn't be disappointed if they put out a country album, at all. But anyway, the vast majority of secret tracks aren't worth the wait. I'm proud to say that I have never put a secret track on an album I've recorded. I was part of a secret track that a very crappy band that my friends were in once. It was a really terrible metalcore band, and I was at my friend Eric's house helping them record gang vocals. Eric is the drummer. I had fun with the gang vocals recording part, because I'd always yell something different from what the lyrics actually are. I can't recall any specific examples, but believe me, they were hilarious. I'M hilarious. I'd listen to the demo to refresh my memory, but that shit was deleted from my computer years ago. But anyway, I'm getting off topic. Secret tracks. After recording the brutal gang vox, we decided to have a little goofy fun time, I guess. We ended up recording about five minutes of really bad beatboxing, with lines from Doug, Jerry Maguire, Homestar Runner, and whatever else people felt like quoting over the top of it. We thought we were a laugh riot, but really we just weren't funny. But that's not all! After that horrific display of dumb stuff, we thought jokes would bring endless enjoyment to the listeners (Pffft! Ha!) of the demo. And, of course, in a room full of privileged white kids, what kind of jokes were told? That's right! Terribly racist jokes! But it's okay, because we all had a mutual friend that is half black (Groooooan). Not to try and make myself look better, but I was against that idea from the beginning. I did nothing to stop it, though. So I'm pretty guilty too, I guess. But honestly, who thought it'd be a good idea to record a bunch of racist jokes, and put it on the end of your band's demo? It's a damn good thing anyone who ever listened to that demo, never got past the first 30 seconds of the first track. I kind of feel bad about shit talking a band that I wasn't even in, but had members that I am friends with. But I don't actually feel bad, because I'm fairly certain they all feel the same way. Plus, I've been in some terrible bands in my day, too. But I've never made racist bonus tracks for my bands. Although, I did seem to have some sort of irrational prejudice against emo kids. But that's the environment I grew up in, man. I know that doesn't justify my prejudice, but a former ska kid could only be so tolerant of breakup songs that aren't about your girlfriend leaving you for another girl. I listened to really dorky music. Oh well. I don't regret it. In conclusion, secret tracks are for dorks in most cases. That's science, kids.

Alright. I think that was a good enough lesson for all of you today. Don't you think? I'm going to go to bed and read a little before I fall asleep. I have my last Marketing and Morals classes tomorrow! Pretty exciting, eh? I guess I still have to go to the final for Marketing, and I have to write an essay for my Morals class, but no more actual class after tomorrow! And then I just have to present a project on Friday, and I'll be done with World Music classes, as well. What an exciting thing! Alright. Catch you kiddles later!

My Hands. My Penis.

Well, as the weatherman predicted, it snowed today. I was sitting in my basement with my brother early this afternoon. He was playing video games, and I was on the computer. That's called hanging out, dudes. But I was suddenly flooded with status updates involving snow. And all I could do was let out a groan. This groan was for two reasons. The first reason was obviously just the mere fact that it was snowing. The second reason I was groaning was because I was finding out about snow without ever having to look out the window. Technology, man. It's ruining everything! But just to satisfy myself, I got up from my seat, and checked outside just to confirm that it was snowing. And it was. Lame. Now I'm not a big snow fan as it is, but I was just thinking about how I had to drive to work in the snow. Driving in the snow wouldn't be nearly as bad if it weren't for the fact that most drivers forget the basics of driving when it's snowing out. It amazes me how people can become the worst drivers ever when there's any sort of unideal weather going on. So I spent my ride to work stuck behind the guy going 30mph in the left lane. Sure, I understand the desire to be safe, but don't clog up the highway for the people who know what they're doing. It's ridiculous! It's all just making me so angry! Nah. I'm not really angry. But I do just so happen to be very very tired. So I think I'm cutting this one very short tonight. I'm sorry guys, but I can't type when I have these huge yawns happening a couple times every minute. So it looks like tonight's entry will be nothing more than a short snow rant. But that's pretty neat, right?! Shoveling driveways blows! Cleaning your car off before you can drive anywhere bites the big one! The cold can get fucked! See?! We're having fun here! Alright. I need to go to bed before I fall asleep here. Then all you'd be reading is ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ and nobody wants to read a bunch of Zs for eight hours or so. That'd be crazy boring. Unless I subconsciously wrote out some sort of sexy dream I was having at the moment. I should get into writing trashy romance novels. I'd be great at that shit. But I guess that's a venture for another time, because I'm finally ending this and going to bed. See you when I see you!

Fly A Kite If You're Bored. Take A Nap If You're Tired

Fuckin' cavities, man. Am I right?! I don't have any right now, but they're pretty lame, yes? Although, I actually kind of like the whole process of getting them filled. I just lay back and zone out while the dentist goes to town. Sure, it kind of smells bad when the drill is grinding against your teeth, but conversely, I really enjoy the feeling of the water and bits of teeth bouncing off my bottom lip as the dentist drills. Some people are bothered by the drilling noise, but not me. I'm too busy looking at the painting of flowers on the wall to be bothered with drilling noises. So yeah. Cavities are a bummer, but I don't mind getting them filled all that much at all. The last time I got fillings, I was still quite numb in the face after the whole procedure was done. So after getting my new toothbrush from the dentist, I started making my way home. But I wasn't about to let this numb face go to waste. So as I'm driving myself home, I'm simultaneously punching myself as hard as I can in the face. And I did this pretty much the whole way home. I can only imagine the horror on any motorist's face who peeked into my car as I was giving myself the beating of a lifetime. But hey, how often does one get to beat the hell out of himself without any repercussions? Not often enough. That's for sure. You know... Aside from those really rough masturbation sessions I know you all love. Perverts. Although, I guess it's me that's the pervert for knowing about all of your masturbation habits. Well don't I have egg on my face.

No. I do not.

So I hear this new MTV series Jersey Shore is a real riot. Now don't get me wrong. I love to laugh at the misfortunes of what these trashy Jersey types find to be the cat's pajamas, but I feel like watching that show would just be way too much of a loser overload. I mean, there's only so many blowout haircuts, wifebeaters, spray tans, and kissy faces I can take in a single sitting. I don't want this show to ruin the magic for me. So I think I've made it official. I will not watch the Jersey Shore of my own volition. Sure, if a friend is really into it, I'll gladly view it with them, but that's where I draw the line. But mostly, I just don't know what channel MTV is on my television. I did recently come across VH1, though. I was flipping through channels, and I saw Sex Rehab with Dr. Drew, and I was all about watching that. Now that's some quality television. I think my favorite person is the gay British guy who is only into straight guys. He comes off as a tough guy, but he's all about his gal pals. He's great. And Dr. Drew. Man, what a gorgeous dude. You all agree with me, right? For an older dude, he's got it going on. I know Kate agrees with me. That episode of Chelsea Lately I saw with him on it was pure gold. By the way, I watch a lot of girl shows when I hang out with Kate. I'm not even ashamed. It's a great time. But mostly I watch shows concerning food. Whether it's Top Chef on Bravo, any of the food shows on the Travel Channel, or most anything on Food Network, I will watch it. I don't like most of the cake shows, or Unwrapped, but everything else is pretty great. But all of my food shows that I love can sometimes lead to scheduling conflicts. The latest case of this is this coming Wednesday at 10PM. Not only is it the Top Chef Season Finale, but it is also Man Vs Food at Rutgers. And Adam is eating at the Grease Truck or whatever that sandwich truck is at Rutgers. And I just want to be really jealous of Adam for getting to eat the sandwiches that I should be eating. I really need to go down to Rutgers and visit Kate sometime. She's surrounded by great food. But on the other hand, there's no way I can miss the season finale of Top Chef. I need to see my boy Kevin cream those two cocky brothers. Fuckin' Voltagios, man. Thank goodness none of this is actually an issue, though. Thanks a ton, DVR! But can we talk a minute about how Man Vs Food is a great show, but Adam is the single scummiest dude on the planet. Even aside from the fact that he's a total and complete dork, he has this really lame frat boy mentality. But he just comes off as some frat boy reject. That's right. He's not even cool enough to be a loser frat boy. I also get the worst vibes from him every time he has some cute chick in the audience give him kisses for good luck. He's just a creepy dude, and I don't like him. He also makes some of the worst jokes I've ever heard. But god damn if that show isn't great. It may be a monument to excess, but I love watching him eat all of that food. I do always root for the food, though. But seriously, great show. Shitty host. He's no Anthony Bourdain. That's for sure.

Alright. I think that's about all I've got for tonight. I'm going to watch my brother kill some dudes in Assassin's Creed II for a bit, and then I'm headed to bed. I've got a busy day ahead of me, after all. That's actually not true. I have work at 5, but that's about it. There will be a Canucks game on. So that's something to look forward to! Yeah! Alright! Tomorrow's looking up! So I'll see you then, faithfuls!

Toilet Beej Weekend

So I was about to be on my ride home from work today, and I was thinking of what tunes I wanted to have playing to keep me awake on my drive. I was scrollin' through the ol' iPod and I landed on The Future Kings of Nowhere. I hadn't listened to them in awhile, so I was all about busting that out, because their self-titled album is just the best. Needless to say, it was a pretty great ride home. Lots of singalongs by myself. Cut to about 45 minutes ago. I was browsing the internet, and decided to take a peak at the Future Kings of Nowhere site. What's the first thing I see when I get on the page? Shayne, the brain behind the music, was diagnosed with cancer a little over a week ago. What a huge bummer that was. But after reading up on the blog him and his brand new wife set up to document the process of becoming healthy again, I saw that they were remaining very positive about the whole situation, and that everything was going well so far. They even put a short video up of their last minute wedding they held at the hospital. It's still a scary thing, though. And that was the last thing I expected to read when checking up on one of my favorite bands. But I do plan on keeping up with that blog to make sure things keep going well, and that Shayne makes a full recovery. If any of my readers would like a link to that blog, the URL is http://thismachinekillscancer.tumblr.com Reading their optimistic outlook on the whole situation really helped soften the blow of hearing the bad news. And I know I've never even seen The Future Kings of Nowhere, much less met Shayne, but the news and blog really had an impact on me.

But in more personal news, I think I may have joined a band on Wednesday morning. I'm not sure, but I was woken up by a text from my friend Chris asking if I wanted to join his band Swear Jar. I told him that I'd love to, but being that I already have to drive to Meriden frequently for my job, a practice schedule in Windsor might be pretty rough on me. So he offered me the position of the guy who only plays for shows. He said he'd send me the songs, and I could learn them on bass at home, and just play with the band whenever they had a show. Now that sounded like something that I could handle. I'm sure I could fit in a real practice here and there too. So I told Chris I'd be more than happy to fulfill that position in the band. I never got a response from that text, but it sounds like I'm in the band. I guess I'll know for sure soon enough. But either way, it was a nice way to wake up on Wednesday.

As for the rest of Wednesday, I didn't do too much until around 8, when Anthony came over and we headed out to the world's greatest diner, Elmer's! This was to be our pre-show meal even though I had already eaten dinner only about an hour before that. So I ordered myself a grilled cheese with tomato, because I didn't want to just watch Anthony eat. Especially considering he got a turkey club without the lettuce and tomato, and with a side of extra mayo for dipping. Now I'm not one of those irrational people who hates mayo. Sure, the idea of it is revolting, but it's really great in moderation. But watching Anthony dip his sandwich into a cup of mayonnaise always makes me want to blow chunks. But I survived that meal without losing my last one. And from there we took a ride down to Main Street, parked in a parking garage, and then took a lovely walk to one of the many bars you can find up and down Main Street. Well, I guess this one is just off Main Street, but close enough. Yes, we went to Cousin Larry's. Were we there to get smashed? Not a chance! We were there to see the band Fake Problems play! So we pay the $5 cover, and walk into the mostly empty bar. Anthony walks over to the arcade bowling machine, and plays ten frames. He did very... eh. Better than he ever could have done with a real bowling ball. That's for sure. So after that, we just shot the shit for awhile. Some guy who worked there told me that my band should play on Open Mic Night. I told him I'd look into it. (Get ready, Easy Chowder!) But mostly, that guy just wanted us to get off the pool table so that he could play some pool with his pal. Pool Pals. Soon after all that the band Play It Faster took the stage. They were Fake Problems' opening act. I had seen them before at Chris' (The same Chris from before. You know, asking me to be in bands and whatnot) house. And they're definitely not bad, but they just write really long songs that tend to get boring fairly quickly. But they put on a pretty solid set, regardless. Then Fake Problems went on. Now by this point, there weren't very many people present. Aside from Anthony and me, the other band and two other people were the only ones there for the show. There were some people who were just there to take advantage of the bar, but even those were not so plenty. This didn't stop Fake Problems from putting on a killer set, though. They've got some great stage presence, and very witty stage banter. In between each song, the bassist would tell us about these kids in their hometown. These kids would go to all of the local shows, and they created a club around it. They call themselves Dudes Night Out. They have a club leader and everything. It's completely legit. But the bassist would talk about the members by their names, as if that was supposed to mean anything to us. But it was completely hilarious. (Just so you know, I just took a break from writing to have a cream puff and some milk.) At one point, the bassist started talking about how his girlfriend came from CT, and how we grow our girls well here or whatever. Then one of the bar patrons took it upon himself to yell "Connecticut sucks! Nothing good comes out of Connecticut!" When I heard that I rolled my eyes and gave a nice big groan, but it didn't compare to him following it up with "Except Hatebreed!" Really? If you had to pick one thing to be proud of Connecticut for, you'd pick Hatebreed? To each his own, I guess, but damn. It must really suck to be that dude. Either way, I think the heckling was all in good humor, because the band had a good laugh, and the guy wasn't heckling during songs or anything. But anyway, Fake Problems played a really great set. I talked to the singer a little bit after they finished up, and just made sure that he knew that Hatebreed was far from the best thing that Connecticut had to offer, and he seemed relieved to hear that. I know I would be. Then Anthony took a walk through the rain back to the parking garage. Then he drove me home and I went to sleep very soon after that. But it was a pretty great time, overall. The bands were nice, the people running the bar were nice, and it was just a nice time. I'd definitely go see a show there again, even if it was pretty empty.

Well that's all I have for you today. If I had to grade this entry, I'd give myself an A+. I'm pretty damn great. I think what makes this entry so great is that some of my readers are really jealous of the fact that I saw Fake Problems. Suck it, pals! Alright. Well I have been yawning heavily throughout my whole time typing this, so I think it would be prudent if I headed to bed. I've got World Music tomorrow. My second to last one. That probably means I'm going to have to piece together and present my project next week. I can handle that. No problem at all. So I'm going to go to bed now and dream of palm wine music from Sierra Leone and Liberia. Of course, that makes me wonder if it's possible to fall asleep within a dream, because that's a really boring thing to dream about. I hope I don't have some sort of endless cycle of boring dreams and never wake up. Oh well. Wish me luck with that! Bye, chums!

Tortillas

Hey, dudes. So I'm going to skip Thursday and Friday in my chronicling of my Thanksgiving break. You see, Thanksgiving day is boring because it's spent with family. Yaaaaaawn! The only real highlight was getting kidnapped by my young female cousins and being dressed up by them. Sure, it wasn't a highlight for me, but I'm sure all of you would have had a laugh. It involved me wearing a giraffe mask and a lot of doll clothing. I was made a fool of, for sure. Oh, I also had pumpkin mousse, and it was absolutely amazing. I may have mentioned that in last night's blog. I don't remember. But aside from great food and looking like a fool, there's not much story-worthy about Thanksgiving day. This is the same case for good ol' Black Friday, too. I just worked a nine hour shift from 6am to 3pm, almost died while falling asleep on the drive home, then went to Christian's and played Assassin's Creed 2 for about 7 hours. So I was awake for a full 24 hours before finally going to bed on Friday. You'd think I'd have more stories after being awake that long, but I do not. I wasn't invited to cool Black Friday parties with robots and baby pictures like SOME of my readers. But I was just as happy playing video games until I was falling asleep all over myself.

But fortunately for all of you, Saturday was a bit more eventful. Sure, I ended up working for most of it, but it was a great day at work, and afterward I headed to Christian's again. But this time, Kate wasn't out partying, so she came along, as well. I guess, all in all, we didn't do too much, but there were definitely highlights. For example, Christian's family was serving my favorite tacos ever. The filling doesn't even really matter, because I could have been just as happy eating their homemade tortillas. I swear to god it makes all the difference in the world. Eating a freshly made tortilla is such a treat for me. I don't even know anyone else who makes homemade tortillas. So by the end of the night, I ended up having three very large tacos. I also ended up having a piece of cake, because I always eat a ton of food while at Christian's house. Even though it's not really all that important, I guess I'll let you know what I put inside my tacos, though. I filled all of them with refried beans, taco sauce/salsa, cheese, tomato, and onions. You see, when the tortilla is that good, you don't need a lot of filler at all. So my simple fillings were the perfect compliment to the delicious tortilla. I'm sorry I'm talking so much about the tortilla, but it's just soooo good! None of you understand me, anyway! But really, I'm just stalling with all this tortilla talk, because I'm realizing that not all that much happened other than eating. A little bit of Guitar Hero was played, but Christian's the only one who's any good at that. Then I think we just watched TV the rest of the night. We were switching between Road House with Patrick Swayze and Dogs 101 on Animal Planet. But that raises the question: How come nobody told me about Dogs 101 earlier?! Didn't you all realize that I would love to just watch dogs hang out on television all day? I mean, sure it doesn't beat hanging out with real dogs, but since real dogs are not always available in my life, a show about cute puppy dogs would be perfect. How dare all of you keep that show from me! You're all selfish, bad people. But really, I guess we didn't do too much other than that. I don't mind that in the least. I'm perfectly happy sitting around and doing nothing with my two best friends. That doesn't make for good reading, though. I hope I'm not striking out here.

Oh well. I guess I'll cut that one off before I start really rambling. So I'm going to a show tomorrow at a bar in town! That's pretty neat, eh? I'm going to see the band Fake Problems. I'm pretty excited about going to see shows in Danbury. Sure, I used to do it all the time, but now there's not as many great shows in the fancy city I live in. So it's always a nice treat to get a good show around here. So that's what Anthony and I will be doing tomorrow night. And then I'll probably go to bed right after the show, so I can be up bright and early to go to work. Fuckin' responsibilities, man. Shit sucks. They're fuckin' lucky I enjoy it when I'm at work. It's just driving there and back that's a killer. Oh well. You guys don't want to hear me complain about that. In fact, I should probably just wrap this entry up now. I think I've ranted about tortillas more than enough by now. I may not write tomorrow, but I'll get all of you kids the day after that. I'll have a neat show to tell you all about. It'll be great. Alright. Bye, kids!

Did You Miss Me? I Know I Missed All Of You!

So I totally kept myself busy enough this past week that I had absolutely zero time for this thing. Mission accomplished. I did mean to make my triumphant return last night, but I got caught up in homework. I almost missed tonight too. You see, I'm heading over to Anthony's in a bit, so I can't imagine I'd be home early enough to write an entry for all of you kids. So I decided I'd write it all now before Anthony gets out of work. Great idea, me! As I'm writing this, I keep on going to the Run For Cover Records website every two minutes to restart the new Hostage Calm song. It just so happens to be one of the greatest songs I can remember hearing in recent memory. So I think all of you should definitely check it out. Know what I mean? http://runforcoverrecords.com It's amazing, right? It sounds so much different from anything that Hostage Calm has put out to date, but it's absolutely amazing, and gets my full recommendation. So get into it! But this break from school was a total success. I guess I didn't see anyone who was home from school other than Christian and Kate, but I think I can still consider that a success. But they're back at their respective schools right now while I am finishing that whole school thing up. All I have is two World Music classes, one Marketing class along with a Marketing final, and just one Humanities class with no final. Then I'm done with school. Pretty exciting, eh? And then all of my friends will be back again for winter break. Although, Kate apparently has to go back to school very soon into January so she can continue interning. What kind of shit is that? All I know is that she better come home for my birthday weekend. I need to throw a huge rager, and it's just not the same without Kate there to cheat her way into winning Balderdash. Kate is such a cheater. But enough about Kate. She's the only one who reads this, and I'm sure she doesn't want to just read about herself the whole time.

So let me let you all in on how my Thanksgiving break went. Well it all started after I got out of work on Wednesday. And as is to be expected, whenever I'm psyched to get home for something, I'm going to be stuck in traffic. But eventually I did get home. Kate (Let's face it, Kate. You're going to make up at least half of this entry.) and Anthony beat me there, though. Apparently, I told them to just show up at my house instead of waiting for me to call. Oh well. At least I gave the message to Christian correctly. But I walked in and Kate and Anthony were inside hanging out with my parents over apple cider. They had already called Christian and told him to come over. He had completely forgot that our plans for the evening were even happening, but he said he'd be right over. And in typical Christian fashion, it took him a very long time to get to my house. So long in fact, that we were afraid that we would not be able to make it to American Pie Company in time to give Anthony a proper Thanksgiving. But he did end up making it, and as punishment we had him drive us all there. Although, it was hard to punish him at all after seeing him walk into my house. I missed him dearly, after all. We had to make our pleasantries quick, though. We were off to Sherman soon after that. We pulled into American Pie Company after a nice ride full of catching up and dad rock. We all walked in and the staff was very happy to see us so close to closing time. They promptly seated us at a table that was missing a chair. So while Christian, Kate, and I sat down comfortably, Anthony was forced to have his meal standing up. Or rather, he would have if he hadn't stolen a chair from some other table. What a punk. And since Anthony was going to be missing Thanksgiving this year, we made him get the Turkey Dinner. Christian got the Meatloaf, Kate got the Chicken Pot Pie, and I got myself the Portobello Chicken dinner. So while we waited for our meals to arrive, we quizzed each other with the very old Trivial Pursuit cards they kept at all the tables. We could tell they were old because they featured colorful phrasing such as "Who was the first black to..." Needless to say, we had a grand time simultaneously expanding our minds and sounding completely ignorant. We also snacked on freshly baked breads and delicious soup. But eventually, our meals arrived, and we dug in. Being that we were at the American Pie Company, all of the food was completely delicious. Unfortunately, I had filled up on bread and soup, so I did not end up conquering my meal, but I made a much better showing than Kate. She did not make much of a dent in her meal at all. But keep in mind, all of these foods were delicious. We just filled up on delicious bread and soup. Anthony and Christian both massacred their dishes, though. They also both eat tons and tons of food, though. After we were all done, the waitress asked if we were all set for dessert. And although I was full, the minute she said "peach raspberry pie" I was suddenly very hungry again. So I had that, and Christian got a pumpkin whoopie pie. That ended up being incredible, and I wish I had one right now. Pumpkin-flavored things are so great. (Pumpkin Mousse this Thanksgiving was pretty much perfect.) Anthony was too filled up for dessert, though. But not too full to try and swipe all of my whipped cream, though. Kate abstained from dessert on the grounds that there was going to be a cookies and milk party at my house afterward. But we all finished up and then made our way back to Danbury. Once we returned to my house, Anthony left to go get laid, Christian went home to have birthday cake for his dad's birthday, and Kate and I went inside to make turkey cookies. After we finished that, Kate and I went downstairs and watched some Top Chef. Eventually, Christian came back and that's when the cookie party began. I brought down all the cookies in the house and a big glass of milk, and then Kate started eating. Christian and I watched, because we were completely full. So Kate had a great time while we sat there wishing we could fit cookies into our stomachs. But to distract us from our utter jealousy of Kate's cookie consumption, we turned on one of our favorite movies. McHale's Navy! Kate had never seen it before, and she kind of still hasn't. She was falling asleep throughout the whole thing. But Christian and I were drawn in as much as we were the first time we saw it. I mean what a star-studded cast. Tom Arnold, Tim Curry, Bruce Campbell, French Stewart, Deborah Messing, Ernest Borgnine, and David Alan Grier? It doesn't get much better than that. Once the movie was over, Kate decided it was time for her to leave. She was a tired girl, and she didn't trust us one bit if she were to fall asleep in our company. So she left, and then Christian and I played video games for the rest of the night. It was a beautiful thing.

Well I think I'm going to quit here. I still have more stories from Thanksgiving break, but I don't want to waste them all tonight. Plus, this thing is getting long. I don't want it to get too long, and lose the attention of all my many many readers. That would just be a tragedy. Anthony called about 15 minutes ago, though. He has to wait at the mall for AAA, because his brother's car broke down, and he needs to give him a ride back to his house. So who knows if I'll end up going out tonight. I guess only time will tell. But it's nice to be getting this thing done early either way. And even if I don't see Anthony tonight, I'll be sure to see him on Wednesday. You see, we're going to go see Fake Problems on Wednesday. I think it's going to be quite a good time. I've even been getting into them a lot more recently. There have even been times where I have been in moods specifically to listen to them. So I could definitely say that I'm pretty excited to see them. Alright. I think I'm going to get to that wrapping up I said I was going to do. I'll see you guys tomorrow. I hope you're happy to have me back. I missed each and every one of you. Bye!

Fight Me!

It is my sincere hope that this is the last time I have time to write in this blog for the rest of the week. Here's to spending the rest of the week with friends. See you on Sunday! Also, this is my 50th entry. I am the king of anti-climax. Bye!

The Old Times Were Never That Great

So it's all settled. Anthony is having his Thanksgiving on Wednesday at American Pie Company in Sherman with friends that love him. This is an open invitation for anyone who else who wants to be there, as well. As of now, it's just Anthony, Kate, Christian, and me. It promises to be a great time. I haven't figured out a time for these activities, but I don't get out of work until 5, and it takes me about 40 minutes to get home from work. So I figure it would probably be a good idea to leave soon after that. Alright, now that I'm done being completely selfless, let's move on.

You know what's pretty crazy? I am almost completely done with school. In a couple weeks I will be a college graduate. And I'm pretty psyched about that, for sure. College has not been a thrill a minute for me, really. And I'm glad that I'll be done with it. Fuckin' college, man. It killed my love of music. Don't get me wrong, I got a great education in music from the school, but some of my classmates were the pits. There were just so many pretentious people there. And I'd get a ton of shit from these kids because I didn't just listen to jazz. It was pretty lame, and I probably shouldn't have majored in music, but I did and I'm not too worried about it. I'm happy with the knowledge I've gained in my four and a half years at college, but I'm psyched to leave. I guess I'll miss finding the one or two attractive girls in class, and just looking at them while class went on around me. But that was more of just a distraction from boredom in some of my less than stellar classes. Plus, with my music degree, I'll be able to apply for the job of rock star. And that will ensure that my attractive girl watching can continue on past college. I hear that's how these things work. Speaking of, did anyone see Adam Lambert's racy performance at the AMAs? No? Me either. But yeah, psyched to be getting out of college. I'm sure it won't be too much different than how I'm living now. I'll just be working more instead of going to class, and I'll have lots of bills to pay. No biggie. I guess I should strive to attain some dreams or something. I'm sure I'll be able to take my songwriting more seriously now that I'll be in the real world and not some ignorant college student preaching lyrics about hardships I can't possibly even understand yet. Goodbye songs about breakups and summer vacation. Hello songs about earning my living and how I didn't appreciate the old days while I was living them. Just kidding, guys. I just write songs about autumn landscapes. I don't know the first thing about breakups.

I'm getting my haircut tomorrow, guys. I need to look freshly groomed for all of my friends this week. This also explains my new pants, and shoes. Actually, it doesn't. I got those for work. But they also do the job of impressing my friends. My friends are very concerned with how I present myself. So I try and give them something that will please them. That's not true. But I am psyched to be getting the ol' hairs cut tomorrow. I also get to go back to contacts tomorrow. I'm seriously going to be the most gorgeous person around. Fuck. I forgot. I already am the most gorgeous person around. Clearly, I'm not the smartest person around. (Yes I am.) But since that haircut is occurring in the morning, I'll probably be cutting this one short tonight. I need to get my 8 hours of sleep or else I'm a cranky man all day. That's not true, but I am a cranky man in the morning if I don't grab my 8 hours. I have no idea what I'm going to do working Black Friday, but it's not my first. I'll survive it. And I figure it'll be a lot easier considering I'm not working in a mall now. Fuckin' malls are the worst. But on the bright side of that, I will be staying at my cousin's house Thanksgiving night, so I will have a much shorter drive to work, which is great. I'll be able to do a little bit of sleeping in and everything. Man, I'm not cutting this thing short at all, am I? Oh well. Might as well keep going then. Hmmm... Actually, I don't have much more to talk about. I fixed a virus on the family computer today. I swear those guys just don't treat that thing right. Thank god I'm some sort of IT genius. I'm not. I think I'll wrap up here. I'm rambling. What a dick. Okay. Goodbye.

Floor Bun Drive Forestes

Does anyone else ever remember there being a Chips Ahoy contest that if you got a box of Chips Ahoy cookies that didn't have any chocolate chips in it, you'd win some large amount of money? Man, fuck that contest. That is so not worth it. Sure, try telling me that I can buy all the Chips Ahoy cookies I want with all the money. You'd be right, but that money sure as hell wouldn't cover the expense of all the emotional damage that'd be inflicted upon me when I went to have some milk and cookies, and opened up a box of chocolate chip-less cookies. Nor would it cover the cost of all the damage I'd cause to myself and the things around me in the ensuing shit fit I'd throw after discovering my cookies had no chocolate chips. Fucking worst contest ever. I'm glad I didn't "win" it. But as you may have gathered, I'm a big fan of cookies and milk. It's the best dessert going, for sure. But I've always liked the simple things in life. My favorite lunches are a PB&J with a tall glass of milk, and grilled cheese with tomato soup. These are the things that make me happy. And when people start fucking around with my simple pleasures, I get pretty pissed. But then again, I'm not even sure if this contest ever happened. I just vaguely remember a commercial for it. Or maybe I don't. Can anyone back me up on this?

Oh yeah! Want to know the saddest thing I've heard in a long time? My friend Anthony is not having a Thanksgiving this year. He's going to be spending it alone! His parents are going to be on vacation, and his siblings will be elsewhere, as well. I got seriously bummed when I heard about it. So Anthony's going to be home alone on Thanksgiving with a Hungry Man turkey dinner and a loaded gun, and he's going to be thinking hard about which one to put in his mouth. And that's just terrible to me. I want to invite him to share Thanksgiving with me, but my Thanksgiving is not being held at my house this year. I still plan on making mention of it to my mother tomorrow, but it's kind of rude to invite people to someone else's house for dinner. Either way, I don't think Anthony should be spending Thanksgiving by himself. The kid loves to eat, and if he misses out on the biggest eating holiday all year, it will be an enormous tragedy. So I was thinking of gathering whoever was around, and having all of us go to the American Pie Company this Wednesday so we can feed him their delicious turkey dinner. I've only talked to Christian about it so far, but he seems to be down. I haven't even mentioned it to Anthony, so I don't even know if he'll be able to do it. I figure he'll find out about it when he reads this, but who knows. I just want to get something together so Anthony doesn't miss out on Thanksgiving this year. So if any of you readers out there have any suggestions or like my American Pie Company idea, let me know. Because there is nothing more depressing than a Hungry Man brand microwaveable Thanksgiving dinner.

But now that I've got all of the serious matters out of the way, who's psyched for Thanksgiving break?! I know I'm excited to see all of my friends again. What I'm not excited about is the fact that I'm going to be working a lot while my friends are home, though. It's to be expected, though. The week of Thanksgiving is a big week in the retail world, and they need all the help they can get. But I figure that I should let all of my readers know when I'll be around so that I can get lots of good hang out time in. On Tuesday, I get out of work at 8:30. Wednesday, I get out of work at 5. Thursday is Thanksgiving. I'll be in Middletown or Cromwell or somewhere. Friday, I get out of work at 3. I'm sure I'll be dead tired after a 9 hour shift, but seeing my friends is much more important than sleeping. If I really need to sleep, I'll sleep while hanging out with my friends. And Saturday, I'm working 4-9:30. Now I'm willing to hang out at any point that I'm not working or Thanksgivinging. So you guys just let me know when you want to see me. Of course, on the off chance that some of us miss each other this week, winter break is only two or three weeks after that.

Okay. Now business is settled. I guess I wasn't as done with the serious stuff as I had originally thought. But I guess that's what you're getting from me tonight. But I'm going to get going to bed soon, I think. I've got my only day of school this week tomorrow. So that cuts the amount of days I go to school in a week in half! And I think I'm looking forward to this school day. I even did all of my homework. That is, unless you consider doing the reading for my Marketing class homework. I don't really read too much for classes. I'm smart enough in all subjects. I don't want to make the rest of the students look bad. Although, I already do. I swear to god, if I don't start off class by answering questions, the rest of the class just stares at the teacher while (s)he waits for answers. Nobody makes a fucking move. The students don't do anything. The teacher doesn't do anything. So I have to break the silence. It's ridiculous. I used to be the quiet one in class, but now I'm the one putting my two cents in for everything. Fucking necessity. What a bitch! Oh well. I'm done here for tonight. See you cool cats tomorrow!

Found The Cat

I'm back in action, guys! Sorry about leaving you all hanging last night. But it was for a damn good cause. I got to record the newest Easy Chowder single that you'll all be jamming soon enough. It got approval from the lyricist, and now I just need to run it by the guy who has had nothing to do with it thus far. But believe me, Christian will be an integral part of the operation once we record the final version of it. Christian sure has a talent for taking my musical ideas and expanding upon them until they become a much more full version of a song. I'm good at the stripped down stuff, I guess. But the three of us are quite the musical team. All we really need to take over the music world by storm is some decent recording equipment, and the know how to use it effectively. Knowing someone with all that stuff would be an acceptable substitute, as well. But none of you care about that. You're just looking for the end product. You're lookin' for the tunes. And I don't blame you. I'm usually just looking for the tunes, too. Under normal circumstances, I don't care about watching in-studio videos. I just want the album. So on that note let's move on.

So what did I say I'd talk about tonight. Ah, yes. I don't normally remember my dreams after I wake up, but the other night was a rare case. Now I don't remember the whole thing, but a good chunk of it is still clear in my head. From the point I remember, I was in a car with my friend Ryan. We were driving back from somewhere, and we were both pretty famished. So we were driving along, and we see this barbecue place coming up on the road. We pull in there, and as we do, we see the biggest bunch of rednecks just hanging out around the restaurant. There were a lot of hairy biker men too, and everyone was staring at us as we pulled in. I guess these folk don't take kindly to city slickers like Ryan and me. But the hunger in our stomachs overpowered any fear we might have had of being drawn and quartered by some biker gang. So we head inside, and Ryan orders himself a steak. He starts going to town on this thing, and tells me how great it is. So I have a bite, and it's amazing. I love it so much that I go up to the owner of the place and tell him how great his steak is. And it turns out that the owner is a very friendly guy. He's kind of grubby looking, but mostly well kept. His shirt is wide open revealing his hairy chest, protruding gut, and scar from open heart surgery. But he starts talking to me about barbecuing, and all the finer points of it. You could tell this guy lives for barbecuing. After we have our friendly conversation, I told him that he makes an amazing steak, but beef doesn't really sit too well in my stomach. So I ask him if he has things like turkey or chicken. Of course, I don't mention pork, because why would a barbecue place have pork? That'd be ridiculous. (Ugh! It was a dream. Lay off!) But he tells me they have all those foods that I mentioned. So I order the turkey. The turkey also came with a salad consisting of full leaves of romaine lettuce and Gorgonzola cheese. This meal also ended up being amazing. The only other thing I remember from the dream is getting home, and trying to get in. But there was a dog who wouldn't let me into my house. But I think the moral of this dream is that the versions of Ryan and myself that I created in my dream don't know how to eat at a barbecue restaurant. I mean, really. Who the fuck gets steak and turkey at a barbecue restaurant. Fuckin' ribs, man. Oh well. I'd never make that mistake in my waking life.

I also said I was going to talk about girls with accents. Throughout my whole World Music class, I never noticed it, but there is a girl in the class that lived in Poland up until she was like 14 or 15. But this past Friday she presented a project to the class, and that's when I first heard her accent. I guess I had never paid any attention before. But I don't know if this applies to any of the rest of you, but most foreign accents on girls will pretty much instantly melt my heart. I don't know anything else about this girl. She could be a bitch for all I know, but I was a bit smitten throughout her whole presentation. Needless to say, I was intently focused on every word she said after that. So now I know a whole lot about gypsy music, I guess. But seriously... girls with foreign accents. Am I right? Let alone the fact it was a Polish accent. Alright. Enough of that. Sorry if that made any of my readers (Kate and AJ) a little jealous. I love each and every one of you more than any Polish girl I don't know. I just have a little thing for accents, apparently.

Well I've got you all caught up on what I had to tell you from yesterday. Now as for the day that just occurred, it was fairly eventful. Not really, but I did do something. And that something was get formal pictures taken with my family. We all dressed up in our suits and dresses, and headed to have our picture taken. It just so happened that the photographer was a big goofball. I guess he was trying to be endearing, but he just came off as condescending the whole time. He kept on asking my brother and me if "we were troublemakers." It was really bizarre. He thought my brother was a big troublemaker because of his "rock star hair." I guess I look pretty straight-laced. It was a good thing I was in a suit and tie, or I'd look like some sort of deviant too. He did make a comment about my sideburns, though. He asked me if they were "lamb chops." He was a very goofy guy to be sure. But I really don't know how he keeps that act up. He smelled like a smoker, so I guess that takes some of the edge off, but he was going a mile a minute with all of his witty banter. I was a little embarrassed for him.

Alright. Well now you're caught up on my life. Well, I also went to the Windmill Diner with my brother for dinner. The waitress was totally into me. It's not even like they're working a tip. They just all love me. It's a very odd phenomenon, but I'm not complaining. And now you're definitely all caught up. So I guess I'll be headed to bed, then. I have work tomorrow. I'm up to four and a half hour shifts now. I'm gaining all sorts of responsibility. Alright. I'll see all of you cool kids later. Hugs and kisses!

I'm Hot Shots: Part Deux. I'm Down Periscope.

Sorry, guys! I can't give you a real post tonight. But I promise the end result is worth it. You see, instead of writing about things that happened today, I spent tonight recording a demo for the newest Easy Chowder song. Sure, aside from Kate and Christian, none of you will hear it, but it's pretty exciting that music is being written, right?! But I just finished up all that demoing, and now everyone in the house can get some sleep. Including this guy right here. But look forward to new Easy Chowder songs in the coming months! And as a reminder to myself, tomorrow's post will include something about barbecue dreams and attractive girls with foreign accents. It figures that I don't write on the day where I actually have stuff that I want to talk about. Oh well! You'll get all of that stuff tomorrow! Look forward to it! As for me, I'm looking forward to bed. I rocked (folked?) myself silly and it has left me exhausted. See you when I see you!

The word "bed" looks like a bed

Man, working 40 minutes away is kind of lame. Like, I enjoy the job a whole lot, but getting there and getting back is a pain. I shouldn't really complain, because it's not actually all that bad, but wouldn't it be nice if I didn't have to do it? Yes. I had thought about taking a trip over to Redscroll Records after I got out of work, but then I thought about the trip home, and I decided to bag it. I should be saving my money, anyway. Not to mention I was pretty beat. Yes. It is possible to be beat after four hours of work! Jerks. But I don't even think it was work that had me beat. I was just tired. So it felt nice to get home after driving back to Danbury during rush hour. What didn't feel so nice was my brother asking me if I could bring him somewhere I didn't want to be soon after I sat down. I mean the kid just got his driver's license. Isn't he supposed to want to drive everywhere now? Well I'll tell you one thing. This ride shit is going to be severely cut down. I'm not driving him everywhere now that he's perfectly capable of doing it by himself. But I did oblige him this time. But the thing that he wanted me to go with him to was the lamest thing possible. Every year, at Danbury High, they have a class called Speech Arts. It's some god damn hippie class where they learn to communicate better through dumb games and acting. And every year this class puts on an event at the high school called Movement to Music. Essentially, the class is split up into groups, and they have to choreograph a dance routine for a song, and then perform it during Movement to Music.

So I took my brother to this event, and hung around to watch it with him. It was real fucking lame. Most of these groups were filled with kids who were not very gifted dancers, and didn't really know their own routines. I had to sit through some pretty miserable music, too. I found myself looking at different people in the audience the entire time, because it was a lot more interesting than what was going on up on the stage. But I did make it through it. I really don't like when I end up going back to my old high school. There aren't even any people there now that were attending when I went there. I'm old. I've left high school behind me. But I did somehow survive the evening.

Now I'm going to disclose a little bit of information with you guys. Just know that it is not to leave this blog. When I was in high school, I took this Speech Arts class. And because of that, I performed in Movement to Music. I choreographed a dance, and it was bad. I'm not even going to tell you what the song was, because I'm embarrassed enough. Not that I even need to qualify this, but I didn't even like the song that my group chose even back when we picked it. I just thought it'd be an easy sell. Alright. I'll tell you the song. I write enough embarrassing things in here as it is. My group danced to the song Circles by the band Tip the Van, who are a local ska band that have been around for quite some time now. I was a fan of theirs back when I was really into ska, and firmly believed that I had to enjoy every ska band I came across. But by the time I was in this class, choreographing this dance, I no longer enjoyed this band. But somehow their music ended up being what my group choreographed. Sorry for all the qualifying. It's just a pretty embarrassing situation for me. And we performed that dance in front of a very well-attended auditorium. And I'm sure it was terrible, but everyone loved it. Tip the Van did have a lot of pop appeal come to think of it. Reliving all of that tonight was not something I had hoped to do tonight, but I did. Maybe I'm stronger for it. But I kind of doubt it. Mostly I'm just tired. Reliving my checkered (ugh) past takes a whole lot out of me.

Let's see. What do I have going on tomorrow? Just class, I believe. There's a concert tomorrow that I don't believe I'm going to. I feel like I should just for the novelty of seeing the most fucked up tour ever, but I'm not driving to Hartford, and paying probably twenty bucks to see what amounts to a joke. This ridiculous tour is Less Than Jake, The Casualties, and The Swellers. What the fuck is that? If there was ever three bands I'd never expect to be on tour together, it is Less Than Jake, The Casualties, and The Swellers. Now seeing Less Than Jake again would be a blast. Especially considering some of the setlists from recent shows I've seen. The Casualties are pretty bad, but I feel like seeing Christian's cousin drum is something I need to accomplish in my life. And as for The Swellers, I have loved everything that they've released aside from their newest album, which is pretty very bad. But while that makes it sound like a great idea to go, it's still not worth it. Maybe if it were at a different venue. The Webster has the worst sound in the world. Oh well. No sense in talking about dumb shows I'm not going to. I'm going to hit the ol' mattress pad. See ya when I see ya!

Super Nintendo Chalmers

It's cold in this house. I guess it was a bad call on my part to remove my hoodie. But sometimes I make bad decisions, and just have to stick with them. Know what I mean? But I think I'll survive. It'll just be that much nicer when I get under my covers after I write this damn thing. So what did I do today? Oh yes. Well, I spent most of the day playing video games with my brother, but I had to take a break from that in order to shower and shave. Why was I making myself so pretty? Because I had an eye doctor appointment, apparently. But I got some good news from the eye doctor. The drops have been helping with the infection. So now I get to spend this week taking them three times a day instead of four. And next week, I get to take them twice a day. Also, I get to put the ol' contacts in next week, as well. Except they aren't the ol' contacts at all. They're a brand new kind that I've never tried before. They aren't the hard lenses I had thought they were going to be, but I am just fine with that. After finding out all of this fancy stuff, I took a ride to CVS to pick up some more eye drops. While there, I also did a little shopping for personal hygiene products. I got myself some cotton swabs, a two pack of deodorant, and some contact lens cleaner. I'm all stocked up on products used to keep me presentable in public. Good for me. Then I made my triumphant return home, where I had a lovely turkey burger for dinner.

Can we talk about how turkey is probably the greatest meat around? Oh man. Just thinking about it is making me really psyched for Thanksgiving. I didn't even get to have a proper Thanksgiving dinner last year. I had a vegetarian Thanksgiving. And that was down in North Carolina with my grandparents, too. My grandmother on my dad's side is quite the cook. So I was missing out on some pretty great turkey, and various Polish foods. So not only did I not get any turkey, but I missed out on kielbasa, and bigos, and gwumpkies, as well. For those who don't know, kielbasa is Polish sausage, bigos is a stew made with sauerkraut, mushrooms, various other veggies, and whatever meat is laying around. Gwumpkies are stuffed cabbage. So yeah, I was missing out on some great stuff. But my grandmother did end up making me some fantastic vegetarian dishes. She made me some sort of southwestern casserole that was great, and an even better casserole that featured zucchini and squash, and was covered in a layer of cheese. That ended up being the highlight of my meal. I also ended up having about a ton of mashed potatoes and green bean casserole. So last year's Thanksgiving definitely wasn't a bust, but it would have been nice had I been able to eat a little bit (lot bit) of everything. Oh well! I wised up, and now I have this year's Thanksgiving to look forward to! This year I'm going with my family up to my cousin's house. Now I won't be served all of those delicious Polish dishes, but I'm pretty sure I won't be let down. And if I am, I'll be sure to make my way to every one of your houses, and feast on your leftovers. Either way, I hope to be eating Thanksgiving leftovers for awhile after Thanksgiving. Man, I need to stop talking about Thanksgiving. Not only am I making myself very hungry, but now I can't make a neat Thanksgiving post next week. Well, except for after Thanksgiving when I let you all know how great Thanksgiving '09 was. But who knows when I'll even find time to post during Thanksgiving break. I'm going to be trying to fit in as much hangout action with friends as I can. Unfortunately, that leaves this hear blog on the back burner. But it should also make for some wild stories when I do get back to updating the blog. I already have some fun plans lined up for Thanksgiving break. It should hopefully be a pretty eventful couple of days. You know, unless I end up working a ton. Alright. Well now I'm just rambling. I'm very sorry about that.

Oh yeah! Remember back in late October when I said my brother was going for his driver's test. Well he didn't end up passing. But he just retested today, and he passed. Of course, it's easy to pass when you take the easy Danbury test. His first try was in Waterbury. That sounds like it would suck. But now my brother has his license, but still lacks any desire to really drive. Oh well. I'm sure that's all going to change now that I'm going to stop giving him rides to places. I'm not a god damn chauffeur, dammit! But it's cool that he passed his test.

Well I think that's about all I have for you guys today. I'm going to go to bed now. And tomorrow I'm going to try my hardest to get back to work on writing and finishing up new songs. I said I was going to do that today, but I didn't. I'm a jerk. But you guys need to keep me on track. So remind me throughout the day that I should be making music. Keep me focused! Also, remind me that I need to make an appointment for a haircut. I'm counting on you guys! Alright. It's bed time. I'll see you guys tomorrow!

Knives! Knives! Knives!

So I hear there's some sort of meteor shower going on tonight? I'd go out and check, but that's what I have you guys for. Plus, I looked out the window a little while ago, and it looked pretty dark up in the sky. So I'm just going to assume it's cloudy and not worth going outside to check up on the meteors. I've seen a meteor shower before, anyway. I remember I was pretty young, and my cousin was sleeping over. But my mom came and woke us up at like 2 in the morning and took us outside. So we sat and watched meteors for awhile. It was definitely neat, but I don't think I need to see any meteors taking showers. Asia has the best view, anyway. And I won't settle for second best. It's all or nothing, baby!

So tomorrow's the big day where I go back to the eye doctor. Alright, so it's not really a big day, but it'll be nice to see if these stupid eye drops have rid me of this vile eye infection. I might even be trying out a fancy new hard contact lens. But it's supposed to be more comfortable than a soft lens. Sometimes I feel like I'm a guinea pig at my optometrist. He always has something new up his sleeve when I go there. Oh well. I'll be a guinea pig. It's only my eyes, after all. This also reminds me that I need to make an appointment for a haircut. And I don't fuck around with haircuts, either. I have a specific person I go to that even gave me my first haircut. I drive all the way to New Milford and spend way too much just to have the satisfaction of getting my hair cut by this one person. You won't see me at Supercuts trusting some hack with my beautiful locks. But yes, I'll probably make that appointment tomorrow.

Look at me going over my to do list with you jokers. I'm going to be honest with you guys, I am feeling a little bit of writer's block tonight. I couldn't think of a cool story to tell all of you guys. But I'm not giving up. I'm going to tell the whole lot of you about a chain restaurant that I really enjoy. It's mostly located in Ohio, but it's definitely a highlight for me every time I'm in that area. That restaurant is Skyline Chili. As you might be able to figure out on your own, they specialize in chili. But this isn't just any old kind of chili. This is fuckin' Greek chili! There's crazy things like chocolate and cinnamon in that chili. So while a lot of you are looking for your chili to kick your ass, the chili you get at Skyline gently stimulates your tongue clit, or taste buds. Yeah, it has a little bite, but mostly it's a sweeter chili. And it's absolutely amazing. And they serve it to you tons of different ways too! You can get it in a burrito. You can get it on a hot dog, or "coney" as the call it. You can get it on fries. You can get it on a steamed potato. Or you can get it the way I prefer, on top of spaghetti. And of course, you can also just get a bowl of chili. But the chili customization doesn't end there! You can also get any of these meals as a 3 way, 4 way, or 5 way. The 3 way comes with a towering mound of cheese on top. The 4 way features the cheese, and either red beans or onions. And of course the 5 way features the cheese, red beans AND the onions. Vegetarian? No problem! They've got black beans and rice with special seasonings just for you. Now ever since I broke veg, I've had issues with digesting beef. But I can safely say that the next time I'm around a Skyline Chili, I will ignore any issues I have with beef, and I will go to town on that chili. Skyline Chili also provided me with the best dip I've ever covered a tortilla chip with. Now I'm pretty sure the dip is simply, Skyline chili, cream cheese, and shredded cheddar cheese, but you really don't need anything other than that. If anyone was wondering what they could get me for Christmas, a 24 pack of Skyline chili would be a great present. Just use Skyline Chili's online store. Also, if anyone wanted to get me a size Small Skyline Chili t-shirt, I'd proudly wear it everywhere. I just figured I'd get my Christmas list out of the way, so you'd have plenty of time to shop for me. But seriously, guys. If any of you want to take a road trip to Cincinnati OH, we can totally eat at Skyline Chili.

Well that's what all of you are getting tonight. You're getting my undying love for Skyline Chili. I think that's more than satisfactory as a blog entry. Sure, it's not my normal storytelling I do, but maybe I like to throw all of you a curveball every now and then. Or maybe not. I don't even like baseball. But I'll sure as hell throw you all for a loop! Alright. Well I think it's about time I headed to bed. Sure, I've got nothing to do tomorrow until 5:45, but I'm still pretty tired. Oh, and before I go, I made a new online friend today. Her name is Lisa Marie and apparently she friended me on Facebook, because I argued with her once over a mutual friend's Facebook. Normally, I wouldn't write about every new Facebook friend I've made, but she asked if I could mention her. I guess she wants to be famous. Well I can't think of any better way than by being in this blog. Okay. I'm headed to bed. More importantly, I'm heading to bed feeling like a nerd for talking about Facebook on a blog. That's a double whammy of nerditude. Catch you later, dorks!

Alt F4

So I bet you're all dying to hear about how my first day of work went. Well I'm happy to say that it went quite well. I went in, filled out all of my paperwork, skimmed the rules, quickly asserted my dominance over the whole store, and then made my own rulebook. It was a very productive four hours, to be sure. But aside from teaching everyone who was boss (me), I also learned a few things. Namely, that the pockets in one particular pair of pants that I own, don't work too well as pockets. You see, throughout the day I lost a check I had, a pen, a guitar pick, and a quarter. Now that is just ridiculous. I'm going to have to write an angry letter to Mr. Dickies and have him get to work on designing a more functioning pocket. It shouldn't be hard. Their main function is only to hold things. I shouldn't have to be worried about losing things every time I put something in my pocket. But whatever, the situation with the check is sorted out, and none of the other things lost matter all that much. But the ride to and from work wasn't too bad. And it was pissing rain too. So if it wasn't too bad in the rain, it shouldn't be too bad on relatively nice days. I'll be sure to look forward to blizzards, though. On my way to work, I even ended up giving directions to some people who pulled up next to me. I was not expecting to be able to give directions in Meriden, but it just so happened that these people were headed to the same plaza that I was headed to. It's nice how things like that work out. And driving home was nice too. It ended up coinciding with Anthony calling me to come hang out right around the time I was coming up to the exit that leads to his house. So I headed there, ate his food, and just hung out. I also discovered that Anthony apparently can't help but laugh when people make artificial fart noises. Now I don't know who that makes more immature: the person squeezing his hands together to make fart noises, or the person laughing hysterically at every fart noise. Well considering I'm completely mature, it must be the laughing idiot who is the immature one. Glad we could figure that out. Moving on.

Christian's 21st birthday was spent with people he didn't know. And me, of course. I remember the night well enough, I think. I was at work hanging out with one of the cool managers, and I received a text from my old manager, Shannon (who is the same as my new manager) asking if I wanted to go to some bar in Milford and shoot some pool. Well, hell yeah I did. But I told her I'd only go if I could bring along Christian. It seemed like a perfect way to celebrate Christian turning 21. So I gave Christian a call, and he was down with the idea. So the plan was all set. The store closed, and Steph (the cool manager from before) and me waited in Steph's car for Christian to show up. After some confusion and lots of waiting, he made it there. So we were on our way. Christian and I mostly knew our way there, but Steph insisted on using her phone GPS. And that caused us to get to the bar much later than we expected. I was getting texts the whole trip from Shannon asking where the hell we were. But eventually we made it. Christian flashed his ID for the first time to get in a bar, and then we headed over to the pool table. Shannon, her husband Billy, her friend Cheri, and some dude I don't remember were already well into their game of pool. But they made the effort to greet us, anyway. The waitress came by and I ordered myself a cranberry juice, and Christian got himself his very first beer from a bar as far as I know. He figured that he might as well. It was his 21st birthday, after all. So we all shot our pools, and had a great time. I'm almost positive that I won all of my games, because I'm the best pool marksman around. Billy also ordered a basket of popcorn chicken that came with a delightfully tangy barbecue sauce. It went quite well with my cranberry juice. Well eventually, like all nights do, ours was coming to an end. We were all pool'd out, and it was about time to leave. Before we left, I made a trip to the men's room. This is also the time that the bill for the booze, bird, and billiards came, coincidentally. So somehow I missed out on paying for anything at all. It was the best Christian's birthday present I had ever received.

Of course, I told that story in celebration of Christian's 22nd and a half birthday that occurred last Tuesday. I had it all planned out that way. So it seems my band, Easy Chowder, has been working on some music, lately. I don't want to divulge too many details, but it's safe to say that Kate is quite the poet. And these lyrics she wrote are getting me pretty excited for the next time the three of us are together, and can work on these new songs. So all of you readers better keep an ear out for us. If you like us before we're cool, you can lift your nose to all of the posers! Sweet! Alright. That's enough of that. I have this whole week off from work, because I did such a great job on Saturday. So I guess I'll just wrap this up here, so I can get some sleep. I need to be well rested for a debate I'm participating in for class tomorrow. I get to yell at people who don't think affirmative action is a good idea. Fuckin' racists, am I right? Alright. See you tomorrow, punks!

The Parly Dukes

Yo! So my first day of work is today! I have to drive 40 minutes there and 40 minutes back for a four hour shift, but it's not a big deal, considering it's my first day. I figure it's all going to be me filling out paperwork. I don't get to the actual nerd-bashing until I know the ins and outs of the store, I guess. I'm looking forward to it, though. I have been unemployed since the end of January, and while that was great this whole summer, I have been pretty bored since most of my friends went away to school. Although, when I think about it, most of my friends shouldn't even be in school right now. I GUESS grad school is an acceptable excuse, but the rest of you are just slacking! And so what if I'm being a hypocrite? I'm bored here all by myself! But I trust that will be less of an issue now that I'm a working man. And maybe I'll have more material to write up in this thing now that I will be getting out of the house to work. I'll be sure not to turn this into some boring "daily occurrences at work" blog. I'm sure reading about my gripes towards customers every day would get boring quick.

Today, the power in my house went out for about 30 seconds. I was just sitting where I am right now, perusing the internet, and the lights went out around me. I still had the glow of my computer screen, but it did dim significantly. There was absolutely no reason for my power to go out, but it did. I'm just thankful that the power came back on 30 seconds later. What a dumb thing to have happened.

I also went to see The Men Who Stare at Goats today. What a solid film. I definitely had some pretty good laughs, throughout. And George Clooney is just gorgeous. I know that everyone says that. Usually girls, but I can appreciate an attractive man, god dammit! But it's true. He's gorgeous. So I recommend that movie to all of you, even if just for the fact that George Clooney is a handsome man.

Tonight we're going to have a very special entry for all of you. It's called "These Are The Hilarious Answers My Friends And I Come Up With When Playing Balderdash." You see, Balderdash is a board game, where one player picks a word, date, film title, person, or initial, and the other players need to come up with their version of what the definition of the word is, the significance of the date, the plot of the film, what makes the person famous, or what the initials stand for. And the person who presented the topic writes down the correct answer. The point is to come up with an answer that you think other people will guess. And points are distributed based on how many people pick your answer. Of course, my friends and I never take this too seriously, and we come up with answers that we just find to be a hoot. And I would like to share with you some of the funnier answers we've come up with. Keep in mind that a lot of these answers are from a game played when AJ and Ryan had just come back from a wedding where they were drinking, and AJ was on the verge of passing out. That game featured Christian, Kate, AJ, Ryan, and myself. Kate and Ryan played as a team. Alright. Here we go.

Movie: Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowlarama
"Hot college chicks get taken over by a falling sky and are forced to wrestle for its use."

Thanks, AJ.

Person: Stephen Perry
"The asshole from Journey who AJ's dad punched in the face"

Way to go, Kate and Ryan. Also, AJ's dad really did beat up the dude from Journey.

Word: Tangantangan
"Two Tangans"

Christian is hilarious.

Not sure of the category: Following etc. (Not sure what the question was)
"Sesame Street or Jackson Five"

This is hilarious because AJ gave an option for which of his answers you'd prefer to take. Neither of them making the slightest bit of sense. AJ was very drunk.

Movie: Whiffs
"The manager for the Cleveland Indians puts up with a band of misfits and tries to win in order to prevent the team from being relocated."

Christian Eggers, you crafty devil. You can't try and pass off Major League as an answer!

Movie: The Purple Monster Strikes
"An anti-fast food movie in which a man in a Grimace costume goes on strike outside McDonalds"

Not funny?

Word: Satrap
"An anti-fast food movie in which a man in a Grimace costume goes on strike outside McDonalds"

Now, I don't like to toot my own horn (yes I do) but Christian was cracking up for a good 5 minutes while trying to read this. He actually drooled all over himself he was laughing so hard.

Person: Tonya L Mistal
"Yo Mama"

Real mature, guy.

Person: Tonya L Mistal
"Hula-hooped for 88 hours burger joint."

I mean, AJ was REALLY drunk.

Word: Trichobezoar
"Something directly out of Harry Potter."

Neeeeeerd!

Word: Psithurism
"Dumb things."

Hey now. Be a good sport, me.

Movie: The Dummy Talks
"A ventriloquist is awoken when his dummy."

wat

Word: Hylomania
"An extreme case of hylo."

Fuck you guys. I'm funny.

Movie: Whiffs
"An Army veteran accidentally inhales a chemical gas that turns him into a bank robber."

This is what the movie is about. No joke.

Movie: The Sin of Harold Diddlebock
"A mild-mannered accountant gets fired from his job. He goes on a drunken rampage and buys a circus."

Yup. That's what this one is about too.

Word: Turpiloquence
Most of us just wrote about turtle pillows.

Initials: MKC
"Minsane Klown Cosse"

I'm not funny.

Movie: Stork Bites Man
"Stork bites man."

Way to finish off the night, Christian.

Alright. Well that's what you get for tonight. I honestly figure that most people who weren't there will not even find this entry funny. But if that's the case with you, then I'd just like you to know that you are very wrong! This is my best entry yet! Well I guess I should probably get myself to bed. I have to be leaving for work in about 12 hours. Man, am I going to be fucked when I start getting morning shifts. I'll need to start going to bed at normal hours or something. I hope the ol' sleep schedule isn't too fucked. Either that, or I hope my boss is cool with me sleeping on the job. I mean, I figure it should be cool considering I received my offer for this job by way of drunk text. Yeah, that's right. How many of you can say that you are employed, because someone drunkenly offered you a job through text message? Alright. Well it's bed time. I'll see you cats tomorrow!