The Parly Dukes

Yo! So my first day of work is today! I have to drive 40 minutes there and 40 minutes back for a four hour shift, but it's not a big deal, considering it's my first day. I figure it's all going to be me filling out paperwork. I don't get to the actual nerd-bashing until I know the ins and outs of the store, I guess. I'm looking forward to it, though. I have been unemployed since the end of January, and while that was great this whole summer, I have been pretty bored since most of my friends went away to school. Although, when I think about it, most of my friends shouldn't even be in school right now. I GUESS grad school is an acceptable excuse, but the rest of you are just slacking! And so what if I'm being a hypocrite? I'm bored here all by myself! But I trust that will be less of an issue now that I'm a working man. And maybe I'll have more material to write up in this thing now that I will be getting out of the house to work. I'll be sure not to turn this into some boring "daily occurrences at work" blog. I'm sure reading about my gripes towards customers every day would get boring quick.

Today, the power in my house went out for about 30 seconds. I was just sitting where I am right now, perusing the internet, and the lights went out around me. I still had the glow of my computer screen, but it did dim significantly. There was absolutely no reason for my power to go out, but it did. I'm just thankful that the power came back on 30 seconds later. What a dumb thing to have happened.

I also went to see The Men Who Stare at Goats today. What a solid film. I definitely had some pretty good laughs, throughout. And George Clooney is just gorgeous. I know that everyone says that. Usually girls, but I can appreciate an attractive man, god dammit! But it's true. He's gorgeous. So I recommend that movie to all of you, even if just for the fact that George Clooney is a handsome man.

Tonight we're going to have a very special entry for all of you. It's called "These Are The Hilarious Answers My Friends And I Come Up With When Playing Balderdash." You see, Balderdash is a board game, where one player picks a word, date, film title, person, or initial, and the other players need to come up with their version of what the definition of the word is, the significance of the date, the plot of the film, what makes the person famous, or what the initials stand for. And the person who presented the topic writes down the correct answer. The point is to come up with an answer that you think other people will guess. And points are distributed based on how many people pick your answer. Of course, my friends and I never take this too seriously, and we come up with answers that we just find to be a hoot. And I would like to share with you some of the funnier answers we've come up with. Keep in mind that a lot of these answers are from a game played when AJ and Ryan had just come back from a wedding where they were drinking, and AJ was on the verge of passing out. That game featured Christian, Kate, AJ, Ryan, and myself. Kate and Ryan played as a team. Alright. Here we go.

Movie: Sorority Babes in the Slimeball Bowlarama
"Hot college chicks get taken over by a falling sky and are forced to wrestle for its use."

Thanks, AJ.

Person: Stephen Perry
"The asshole from Journey who AJ's dad punched in the face"

Way to go, Kate and Ryan. Also, AJ's dad really did beat up the dude from Journey.

Word: Tangantangan
"Two Tangans"

Christian is hilarious.

Not sure of the category: Following etc. (Not sure what the question was)
"Sesame Street or Jackson Five"

This is hilarious because AJ gave an option for which of his answers you'd prefer to take. Neither of them making the slightest bit of sense. AJ was very drunk.

Movie: Whiffs
"The manager for the Cleveland Indians puts up with a band of misfits and tries to win in order to prevent the team from being relocated."

Christian Eggers, you crafty devil. You can't try and pass off Major League as an answer!

Movie: The Purple Monster Strikes
"An anti-fast food movie in which a man in a Grimace costume goes on strike outside McDonalds"

Not funny?

Word: Satrap
"An anti-fast food movie in which a man in a Grimace costume goes on strike outside McDonalds"

Now, I don't like to toot my own horn (yes I do) but Christian was cracking up for a good 5 minutes while trying to read this. He actually drooled all over himself he was laughing so hard.

Person: Tonya L Mistal
"Yo Mama"

Real mature, guy.

Person: Tonya L Mistal
"Hula-hooped for 88 hours burger joint."

I mean, AJ was REALLY drunk.

Word: Trichobezoar
"Something directly out of Harry Potter."

Neeeeeerd!

Word: Psithurism
"Dumb things."

Hey now. Be a good sport, me.

Movie: The Dummy Talks
"A ventriloquist is awoken when his dummy."

wat

Word: Hylomania
"An extreme case of hylo."

Fuck you guys. I'm funny.

Movie: Whiffs
"An Army veteran accidentally inhales a chemical gas that turns him into a bank robber."

This is what the movie is about. No joke.

Movie: The Sin of Harold Diddlebock
"A mild-mannered accountant gets fired from his job. He goes on a drunken rampage and buys a circus."

Yup. That's what this one is about too.

Word: Turpiloquence
Most of us just wrote about turtle pillows.

Initials: MKC
"Minsane Klown Cosse"

I'm not funny.

Movie: Stork Bites Man
"Stork bites man."

Way to finish off the night, Christian.

Alright. Well that's what you get for tonight. I honestly figure that most people who weren't there will not even find this entry funny. But if that's the case with you, then I'd just like you to know that you are very wrong! This is my best entry yet! Well I guess I should probably get myself to bed. I have to be leaving for work in about 12 hours. Man, am I going to be fucked when I start getting morning shifts. I'll need to start going to bed at normal hours or something. I hope the ol' sleep schedule isn't too fucked. Either that, or I hope my boss is cool with me sleeping on the job. I mean, I figure it should be cool considering I received my offer for this job by way of drunk text. Yeah, that's right. How many of you can say that you are employed, because someone drunkenly offered you a job through text message? Alright. Well it's bed time. I'll see you cats tomorrow!