Fuckin' cavities, man. Am I right?! I don't have any right now, but they're pretty lame, yes? Although, I actually kind of like the whole process of getting them filled. I just lay back and zone out while the dentist goes to town. Sure, it kind of smells bad when the drill is grinding against your teeth, but conversely, I really enjoy the feeling of the water and bits of teeth bouncing off my bottom lip as the dentist drills. Some people are bothered by the drilling noise, but not me. I'm too busy looking at the painting of flowers on the wall to be bothered with drilling noises. So yeah. Cavities are a bummer, but I don't mind getting them filled all that much at all. The last time I got fillings, I was still quite numb in the face after the whole procedure was done. So after getting my new toothbrush from the dentist, I started making my way home. But I wasn't about to let this numb face go to waste. So as I'm driving myself home, I'm simultaneously punching myself as hard as I can in the face. And I did this pretty much the whole way home. I can only imagine the horror on any motorist's face who peeked into my car as I was giving myself the beating of a lifetime. But hey, how often does one get to beat the hell out of himself without any repercussions? Not often enough. That's for sure. You know... Aside from those really rough masturbation sessions I know you all love. Perverts. Although, I guess it's me that's the pervert for knowing about all of your masturbation habits. Well don't I have egg on my face.
No. I do not.
So I hear this new MTV series Jersey Shore is a real riot. Now don't get me wrong. I love to laugh at the misfortunes of what these trashy Jersey types find to be the cat's pajamas, but I feel like watching that show would just be way too much of a loser overload. I mean, there's only so many blowout haircuts, wifebeaters, spray tans, and kissy faces I can take in a single sitting. I don't want this show to ruin the magic for me. So I think I've made it official. I will not watch the Jersey Shore of my own volition. Sure, if a friend is really into it, I'll gladly view it with them, but that's where I draw the line. But mostly, I just don't know what channel MTV is on my television. I did recently come across VH1, though. I was flipping through channels, and I saw Sex Rehab with Dr. Drew, and I was all about watching that. Now that's some quality television. I think my favorite person is the gay British guy who is only into straight guys. He comes off as a tough guy, but he's all about his gal pals. He's great. And Dr. Drew. Man, what a gorgeous dude. You all agree with me, right? For an older dude, he's got it going on. I know Kate agrees with me. That episode of Chelsea Lately I saw with him on it was pure gold. By the way, I watch a lot of girl shows when I hang out with Kate. I'm not even ashamed. It's a great time. But mostly I watch shows concerning food. Whether it's Top Chef on Bravo, any of the food shows on the Travel Channel, or most anything on Food Network, I will watch it. I don't like most of the cake shows, or Unwrapped, but everything else is pretty great. But all of my food shows that I love can sometimes lead to scheduling conflicts. The latest case of this is this coming Wednesday at 10PM. Not only is it the Top Chef Season Finale, but it is also Man Vs Food at Rutgers. And Adam is eating at the Grease Truck or whatever that sandwich truck is at Rutgers. And I just want to be really jealous of Adam for getting to eat the sandwiches that I should be eating. I really need to go down to Rutgers and visit Kate sometime. She's surrounded by great food. But on the other hand, there's no way I can miss the season finale of Top Chef. I need to see my boy Kevin cream those two cocky brothers. Fuckin' Voltagios, man. Thank goodness none of this is actually an issue, though. Thanks a ton, DVR! But can we talk a minute about how Man Vs Food is a great show, but Adam is the single scummiest dude on the planet. Even aside from the fact that he's a total and complete dork, he has this really lame frat boy mentality. But he just comes off as some frat boy reject. That's right. He's not even cool enough to be a loser frat boy. I also get the worst vibes from him every time he has some cute chick in the audience give him kisses for good luck. He's just a creepy dude, and I don't like him. He also makes some of the worst jokes I've ever heard. But god damn if that show isn't great. It may be a monument to excess, but I love watching him eat all of that food. I do always root for the food, though. But seriously, great show. Shitty host. He's no Anthony Bourdain. That's for sure.
Alright. I think that's about all I've got for tonight. I'm going to watch my brother kill some dudes in Assassin's Creed II for a bit, and then I'm headed to bed. I've got a busy day ahead of me, after all. That's actually not true. I have work at 5, but that's about it. There will be a Canucks game on. So that's something to look forward to! Yeah! Alright! Tomorrow's looking up! So I'll see you then, faithfuls!
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