Buy Guns!

"Vampires sparkle in the sunlight, but HPV often has no signs or symptoms. HPV can lead to cervical cancer. Get the facts at HPV.com" This was an advertisement I saw on the internet today. I was sort of half paying attention in class when I saw this ad on the computer of a girl sitting in front of me. I almost burst out in hysterics right there in the middle of class. But I was able to contain myself, somehow. But honestly, how is that an ad? Are we really using Twilight to make Human Papillomavirus awareness look cool? I guess the ad was somewhat effective in that I'll never ever forget it, but it's still the most ridiculous thing I've ever seen. Oh well! In cooler news, this guy right here is now a contributing member of society. Yes, that's right. I've got myself a job. I'll now be dealing with geeks all day as some sort of almost manager at my not local Gamestop. Yes, I'll be driving 40 minutes to Meriden, every day I have to work, but I'll be getting paid a decent wage, and I'll be in close proximity to Redscroll Records just in case I feel like I have too much money. Plus, I'll be working under a manager that I know I like. It definitely sounds like a pretty great job to me. To celebrate, I ordered myself a new pair of shoes, so I don't go into my new job with my toes hanging out. I mean, I am pretty good friends with the store manager, but she has some standards for her store. Alright. Enough of this rundown of my day. I was just going to make a joke about how The Rundown was a crappy movie, and the sequel with Kevin Sorbo was probably even worse, but there was no sequel to The Rundown. I was thinking of Walking Tall, which is another crappy movie with The Rock in it. Kevin Sorbo was in two sequels to Walking Tall, apparently. I never actually saw Walking Tall, so I only assume it was crappy. It's a remake, isn't it? Probably. Whatever. Kevin Sorbo is a badass, and The Rock is a great movie that has nothing to do with Dwayne Johnson. This may be the most press Kevin Sorbo has gotten in awhile, and I honestly can't believe I'm talking about Kevin Sorbo on my blog. Let's move on. Shall we?

Since we were speaking of employment, let me tell you about the pseudo-job I had over the summer. You see, I was a bit of a bum since I lost my job at FYE. I applied for other jobs, but I didn't really pursue them very much. I guess I was just hoping they'd either call me out of all the other applicants, or I could just continue kickin' back and enjoying the summer with my pals. But I did have one job-ish thing this summer. Kate's dad offered to pay Christian and me to paint a breezeway in the house, and a wall outside of the house. We quickly accepted that offer, because we were spending almost every day at Kate's anyway. We started off with the breezeway. Now this was a very important part of the job, because this is Elliott's room, and he has very high standards for his living space. In case you're not aware, Elliott is a dog. But Christian and I got to work on that room right quick. Kate was even kind enough to put her iPod on shuffle for us. Of course, it wasn't so kind when I had to listen to some of her poorer choices in musical taste. Honestly, if I were to base my opinion on The Get Up Kids on the one song I heard by them on that day, I'd say they're the worst high school bullshit band I've ever heard. But based on the other songs of theirs that I've heard, I just think they plain old suck. But that song didn't compare to the whiniest cry baby song that came on soon after that. I'm fairly certain that was a song by The Spill Canvas, but I can't be sure. Kate listens to so much bad music, it's really hard to keep track. But I must admit that the majority of the music she listens to is the tops. The next day that Christian and I showed up to work came soon after. But this time it featured my iPod on shuffle. And that also ended up being a bad experience, because even though I have the perfect taste in music now, I also used to listen to some of the worst ska bands around. Plus, the jazz that came up on shuffle doesn't make for very good painting music. But either way, I sure got Kate back! As we went along with our painting, Christian and I ended up recruiting Anthony to help us out. This was after we made sure he understood that he wasn't getting any cut of the payment, of course. He wasn't terribly great at painting, but he was definitely more of a help than a hindrance, I'd say. Two coats later, we were moving on to the cement wall underneath the deck outside. This one went much faster, because it only required one coat of paint. It did end up being a whole lot worse on my back, though. It's rough painting when you can't stand straight up. Stupid decks make everything tough! That's not true at all. It only make some things tough, and mostly things that occur underneath it. But we eventually got all that work done. And we even finished it up in time for Kate's birthday party. The same birthday party where the window to the door I had just painted was broken by rowdy kids. Fuckin' punks, man! Never. Throw. Frisbees. In. The. House! But it's alright. My work was done. The best part of painting was probably all the food I'd be fed afterward. Now I ate a lot at Kate's anyway, but it tasted that much better when I earned it. It was usually a dinner of pizza, but it was always a treat when Kate would cook for us. She's a stellar cook. She'd probably be the best cook ever, if she could bake better brownies than me. There's also been whisperings that I make better fajitas than her too, but I don't like to spread that rumor. Kate makes great fajitas. But if you ever want to see my stellar painting job, just ask. I'll bring you down to Kate's house, and show you just how well I can paint a room.

Well I think the fact that my contacts are drying up in my head means I should be heading to bed. Oh, the things I'll put in my head for beauty. Speaking of how gorgeous I am, my family and I went out to dinner for my brother's birthday today. We went to Ruby Tuesday and it was pretty great. But the waitress was totally flirting with me the whole time. It just supports my claim that all waitresses are in love with me. Sure, the skeptic would say they're just workin' their tip, but that shit doesn't hold water when I'm not the one paying. These waitresses aren't flirting with my parents the whole time, are they? Hell no! I'm number one! Alright, now that I built up my self esteem, I think I can head to bed. Guess who's not crying himself to sleep tonight? That's right. This guy! Alright. See you knuckleheads later!