TRIUMPHANT RETURN!

Hey! Remember me?! Sorry I haven't written in ages. My excuses are split between doing my last bit of work I had for school and wanting to go to sleep early when I had work in the AM. But now I don't need to worry about school anymore. I finished forever. Yes, that's right. I'm done with college. It only took me four and a half years, but I eventually won that game. I took my last final yesterday. I knocked out eight quality essays, sold my books from the past few semesters, and then got the hell out of that school. Now I don't need to be back there until the graduation ceremony in May. Pretty exciting. Right, guys? Yes, it sure is. I think with all of this morning working I've been doing, I've started to develop a normal sleep schedule, and I'd really rather not do that. I don't like feeling really tired this early. Well I'm sure I'll be getting less hours at work once Christmas is over, so I'll totally be able to get back in the habit of going to sleep at 4am and getting up at noon. That's the sleep schedule for me. Speaking of work, I had a visitor today. I know what you're saying. I work about an hour away from where I live. Why would I be getting visitors. Well, I have friends all over this state and beyond. I'm a popular guy. But today Neil stopped by the ol' store, and brought me some Taco Bell! What a guy. He got me a Cheesy Bean and Rice Burrito and some Fiesta Potatoes. He also loaded my bag up with Fire Sauce. So I ended up having a pretty great lunch. The only issue was the Taco Bell people forgetting to put a spork in the food bag. So I couldn't eat the Fiesta Potatoes until I got home. And as I found out, Fiesta Potatoes aren't all that great when microwaved. But that sure didn't stop me from going to town on them. Alright, let's do a recap of the past couple days.

To keep on the subject of food, I was woken up this past Tuesday by a phone call from my friend Anthony Depoto. And being woken up by a call from Anthony only ever means one thing. Lunch date at Century Buffet. Now we hadn't gone to Century Buffet since the summer, and since then, this fine Chinese eatery had transformed into Grand Century Buffet. For those of you who have never been to Century Buffet, it has about the worst food I've ever paid to eat, let alone paid to eat on a semi-regular basis. And as we soon found out, nothing had changed with the food since adding "Grand" to the name. They did make the place look a whole lot fancier, though. Most of the chairs still had the plastic covering on the seats that they were packaged with. But this place looked relatively fancier compared to what it used to look like. This, in a way, made the food taste worse. I guess that's a result of higher expectations from the nicer atmosphere, though. But even though the food sucks, I still piled my plate high. I had about eight or nine varieties of chicken on my plate. It was the worst. But I finished that plate, god dammit. I even went back for some chocolate soft serve ice cream. After that, Anthony and I headed to WCSU to see all of his old classmates. It was a lovely reunion, for sure. Apparently, we weren't done eating, though. We decided it would be a great idea to get some more ice cream. So we took a drive to Il Bacio, and had ice cream. I got some pumpkin ice cream with caramel, because I need to get in as many pumpkin flavored things as possible before they all go away. The rest of the day is all a blur. We went to East Coast Music Mall, the regular mall, and some auto shop where the employees did not want to sell anything ever. What a couple of sad sacks they were. But what a premium day it ended up being. I had plans to go home afterward and study for my Marketing final the next day, but that never happened. I'm pretty sure I killed it anyway, though. I am a pretty great marketer, after all.

Yesterday was another day where adventures started with food. AJ and I were discussing top secret plans over the internet, and somehow grilled cheese, tomato soup, and milkshakes got brought up. So AJ asked if I wanted to go get those food items right then and there. Now I had just eaten dinner, but I said "fuck yes!" Grilled cheese, tomato soup, and milkshakes is the best meal around. So AJ came to pick me up, and we decided that the New Holiday Diner would be a good bet for getting that meal. So we go there, and look through the menu. They don't have tomato soup, but that's also pretty tough to find in diners these days. Or at least I'm confident that none of you have any evidence to disprove that. But we were happy enough with the grilled cheese and milkshakes. AJ got a vanilla milkshake and a side of onion rings with his order. I opted for the chocolate milkshake and fries. I also got tomato on my grilled cheese in the hopes that it would at least make up for the lack of tomato soup a little bit. So while we're eating this delicious meal, the most absurd regulars keep coming in. These two people that came in, started asking if the staff could take a picture of them. It just seemed like such an odd request. Who wants to get their picture taken at the New Holiday Diner. It was bizarre. Then our waitress started talking to other tables about Gaylordsville. AJ and I probably wouldn't have thought twice about it, had she not kept repeating "Gaylordsville" over and over again. Then she started talking about how there's a place in Gaylordsville where a woman makes life sized replicas of people and animals out of papier mache. So after hearing a number of other oddball conversations, AJ and I decided to make our way out. But we also needed to know if this woman was batshit crazy. So we decided to take a ride to Gaylordsville to see if these papier mache statues were really there. This was made easy by the fact that this woman gave pretty precise directions to the place we were going. So we made our way to Gaylordsville and it turns out that this woman wasn't bullshitting us. There was a whole huge yard full of papier mache statues just chilling out. It ended up being pretty neat, actually. So I took a couple pictures, and then AJ and I made our way back to good ol' Danbury. From there, we played video games for a couple hours, and then I kicked him out so I could go to sleep.

Speaking of that thing I just spoke of, I'm going to bed. I've been falling asleep at the keyboard here. I need to work on that sleep schedule of mine it seems. There's no pride in going to sleep at 1:30am. But until then, I am off to bed. I don't think I'll have any time to write tomorrow, but I'm going to try and get back to a regular writing schedule soon. Look forward to it! And hang out with me, guys! I know you're home from break! See you soon, cool kids!

I ain't afraid of nothin'! I ain't even afraid of the devil! I am the devil!

So in breaking news, there was an armed robbery in a dorm at the school that I still go to for less than a week. I always told people that dorm life at WCSU sucks, but nobody ever listens to me. But it just goes to show you. If you don't listen to me, you'll be robbed at gunpoint in the very place that you rest your head every night. Oh, and just to clarify, there were no injuries, so I am good to go on whatever hilarious jokes I can come up with. Let's talk about this dumb robber, though. Who the fuck robs a bunch of poor college kids? Sure, we're in the richest county in the United States, but college kids are still poor. I guess the robber could have made off with a small fortune in empty Keystone Light cans, but it sounds kind of fishy to me. Dumb robber robbing dumb kids. Whatever. Glad I quit dorming at WCSU. At least the robber had the decency to not shit in the sink. Man, nobody had it worse than me while dorming. Shit sinks, pube toilets, bloody vomit, loud dumb kids, loud dumb kids with guitars. I guess that's all just part of the college experience, but it was pretty lame. Good thing I took 3 years to do something about that.

Speaking of horrible experiences, did anyone catch the season finale of Top Chef last night? Fuck, man. Michael? Really?! Let alone the fact that my boy Kevin was the clear winner, you couldn't at least go with the Volt bro that I didn't hate? Michael was just fucking annoying, and a two-faced little punk to boot. Sure, I guess this wasn't a personality contest, but Michael can't even cook a tiny cake. What a dipshit! If you had to go with a Voltagio brother, Brian was the clear choice. Not only does he seem like a much cooler guy in general, but he consistently cooked much better than his brother throughout the whole series. But that's just if we had to pick one of the brothers. Kevin was the one who should have taken the whole thing. I just really want to hang out with Kevin. He seems like such a cool guy, and he could cook me delicious food, too. He even won the Viewer's Poll for who should be the winner. He had 58% of the vote! He's the people's chef! There's no denying it. But fuckin' Michael, man. Worst outcome ever. I just wanted to knock the stupid fucking backwards hat off his dumb head. He looked like some sort of Offspring superfan. Fucking dork.

To cool myself down after that incident, I watched my recording of Man Vs Food: Rutgers. It really made me want to visit Kate all the time, if only for meals. They had this fantastic looking Stromboli place, that I really wanted to try. The host kept calling it a "'boli" though, and I wanted to punch him right in the face. I fucking hate Adam. Oh, and if I wasn't already riled up enough from stupid Top Chef, my recording started skipping, and if it didn't end up fixing itself, I would have flipped the fuck out. But it did, so I continued watching the stupid fat guy on the show I love. Then he did the challenge at the R U Hungry Grease Truck where he had to eat 5 huge sandwiches in 45 minutes. He couldn't do it, though. He was too busy talking about lame things, and playing up the drama that he couldn't nail his fifth sandwich before time ran out. And he lost on a veggie burger. What a complete failure. Also, Rutgers seems to be filled with a lot of tools. Or maybe that's just college. But either way, I want to go to Rutgers and eat all the time. Make it happen, Kate!

You know what else pissed me off yesterday? My Lawrence Arms 10th Anniversary hoodie seemed to have sprouted a small hole in it. I have no idea how it happened, or when it happened, but it only added to my disdain for Wednesday night. Sure, it's an easy patch, but I'm not happy that it got a hole in it in the first place. That hoodie was a gift! Kate, out of the kindness of her heart, got it for me when she went to The Lawrence Arms' 10th Anniversary show. And now I have to have her sew it up for me? That doesn't show very much appreciation! I look like some sort of jerk now! Kate probably hates me or something! I don't know. It wouldn't be a big surprise, considering how everything else bad happened to me last night. Jeeze! Nobody has ever had it worse than me! Not in the first world! Not in the third! Not in any!

I also had that doctor's appointment yesterday. Remember?! Well that went pretty well. Apparently, I'm 6'3" and 156lbs. Haven't changed in height or weight since my last physical, which was back in 2005. I'm awesome. When he asked me if there was any things I'd like to discuss with him, I mentioned my gross hands. You see, I have very clammy hands. They're either cold and wet, or hot and sweaty all the time. They're very infrequently pleasant. So I mentioned this to him, and he started talking to me about football. It was ridiculous. He tried to relate it to my issue, but he was really just talking about football, and mentioning the hand warmers they use on the sidelines. Well needless to say, he didn't help me out at all with that issue, so I guess I'm stuck with gross hands. Sorry, Kate!

Thank goodness today went off without a hitch, though. Right? What a swell day. Sure, I did some hard working today at the ol' job, but I don't actually mind keeping busy at work. Plus, all of my coworkers kept it fun. My boss and I did some yelling back and forth, but it was all in good fun. At least I think so. Who knows what she thinks. But I also got to go to Elmer's Diner for dinner. There I got to satiate the craving I've been having for pancakes, lately. Got some banana pancakes with real maple syrup and a side of home fries. Chocolate milk to drink. You can accuse me of being a little kid all you want, but I think we both know that a kid wouldn't order real maple syrup. They'd get that fake crap. No thanks to that, man! Also, the Canucks won today! And my boy Rick Rypien beat up another guy much bigger than him. His little protege, Tanner Glass got into a scrap too. He's coming along great as a fighter. Oh well. I think I'm going to end this here. And what better note to end you on than a happy one? Cool! Bye!

All New Material!

A big holiday just passed on Sunday. I forgot to write about it, I guess. I must have been too caught up in the festivities. But this past Sunday was the one year anniversary of me getting rid of my big, dumb hair. That's right. For about 5 years or so before last December 6th, I was sporting long and flowing red curls. I thought I was the coolest, which is why I let it last as long as it did. But seriously, who needs the hassle of long, dumb hair? It's a bitch to wash (which is why I never used to), it causes old people to make comments, it's loved by others more as a novelty than as a nice-looking hairstyle, and myriad other issues. Not worth it. I should have listened to that senile old man that accosted me on my first day of college. "A few years in the military would do you a world of good" he said. "I'm so sorry! Come along now, grandpa." his family would say. And you know what? That old man was completely wrong, but if I had gotten that haircut then, I'd like to think that the crazy old coot would have been proud of me. So this entry is dedicated to the inappropriate grandfather I briefly met on my first day of college. Because of you, I got my hair cut a year ago. I remember the whole thing. I didn't tell any of my immediate family what I was going to do, but I had been planning it for awhile. I was a little nervous, because I didn't know what it was going to look like, so I did some research. I looked through pictures of good-looking dudes, and finally settled on the dude who I thought I would look best as. And as you can probably all tell, I went with the Frank Turner. It's all the rage in the UK. So I went to the fancy place where I get all of my haircuts, and told my hairdresser exactly what I wanted. It didn't quite turn out like the Frank Turner I was envisioning, but I ended up looking damn good. And thank goodness for that. I also got to donate all of that hair I got chopped off to Locks of Love. So not only did I end up looking great, I ended up doing something great. What a guy, eh? But anyway, I made my way home after that, and surprised my family! It was great! My mom saw me and started completely ignoring whoever she was on the phone with to make comments about me. It was cute. I was the star of the day, for sure. And I've had that short hair ever since! And now it's my brother who's the long-haired hippie. I think it's safe to say that a few years in the military would do him a world of good.

So tonight I went on a little bit of a music downloading spree. Not just any sort of music, though. You can't just go into a downloading spree without a clear focus in mind. That's just anarchy, and we can't have that. But tonight my downloading concentration was on female singer-songwriters. You see, Jenny Owen Young's Transmitter Failure has been getting some heavy rotation lately, so I've been in the mood for some girl power. Know what I mean? But it was definitely a good night of downloading. It made me feel like a real heel for sleeping on Gregory & The Hawk for so long. What a dummy I was! But that's rectified, and I'm all set with some brand new girl-folk. I still haven't been able to find my girl Lauren Zettler anywhere online, though. She should tour around here so I can grab her music from her. So, in case you're reading, Lauren, tour here so I can buy your music. Also, Kate, don't worry. It's all in your folder.

Hmm... What else? Oh yeah! I'm going to the doctor's tomorrow. That's pretty neat, right? And all of you worry warts can calm down. There's nothing wrong with me. I'm just going in for a checkup. I figure it's a good idea considering I'll be losing the ol' health insurance soon. So I guess there very well could end up being a lot wrong with me. Hell, I never ever go to the doctor's, so I could be filled with disease. I might even have some broken limbs for all I know. But know this: I'm not going to the doctor's because I feel sick. Hell, I'm never really sick. So hopefully you can rest easily knowing that much. Maybe I'll even find out how tall I am and how much I weigh! Wouldn't that be exciting?! Oh well! Being that I'll be going to the doctor's office tomorrow, I should probably think about heading to bed soon. And that all starts with ending this blog. So, as much as you all wish I could just write an entry that went on forever, I will be ending it right here. Look forward to the exciting results of my doctor's visit tomorrow! Bye, kids!

Come To The Sabbat! Satan's There!

What's the point of secret tracks on albums? And why do some bands feel the need to put them after obnoxiously long breaks of silence on an album? I guess I can understand a track being secret if it is on an album that has a certain theme or concept throughout the rest of the album that the secret track doesn't follow, but I don't need 30 minutes of silence to understand that we're changing gears. It's just silly, really. But some bands will even tag a secret track onto an album that just sounds like a bunch of songs thrown together. None of the other songs share a theme, but still the secret track needs to be separated. I don't like it, man. No, I do not. The absolute worst is getting the albums where you wait through all the silence only to be disappointed by something that isn't even another song. And yes, I realize that it's pretty easy to skip all of the silence, but on your first listen, you can't skip through. You might miss something! There are also other situations where it's not so easy just to skip through. Like if I'm driving, I can't be fumbling around with my iPod, or my CD player. That shit's dangerous. And most of the time, these secret tracks end up being crap, anyway. It's usually some crappy cover, some joke song that's only funny to the band, or a poorly recorded live song. But that's not to say that there aren't some winners out there, as well. Take the secret track at the end of Propagandhi's new album, Supporting Caste. It's well worth the wait. And yes, it's a joke song, but it actually does the job of making me laugh. There's also the Warped Tour bashing song at the end of Oh! Calcutta! by The Lawrence Arms. It's a great song. The Lawrence Arms are also great at country. I wouldn't be disappointed if they put out a country album, at all. But anyway, the vast majority of secret tracks aren't worth the wait. I'm proud to say that I have never put a secret track on an album I've recorded. I was part of a secret track that a very crappy band that my friends were in once. It was a really terrible metalcore band, and I was at my friend Eric's house helping them record gang vocals. Eric is the drummer. I had fun with the gang vocals recording part, because I'd always yell something different from what the lyrics actually are. I can't recall any specific examples, but believe me, they were hilarious. I'M hilarious. I'd listen to the demo to refresh my memory, but that shit was deleted from my computer years ago. But anyway, I'm getting off topic. Secret tracks. After recording the brutal gang vox, we decided to have a little goofy fun time, I guess. We ended up recording about five minutes of really bad beatboxing, with lines from Doug, Jerry Maguire, Homestar Runner, and whatever else people felt like quoting over the top of it. We thought we were a laugh riot, but really we just weren't funny. But that's not all! After that horrific display of dumb stuff, we thought jokes would bring endless enjoyment to the listeners (Pffft! Ha!) of the demo. And, of course, in a room full of privileged white kids, what kind of jokes were told? That's right! Terribly racist jokes! But it's okay, because we all had a mutual friend that is half black (Groooooan). Not to try and make myself look better, but I was against that idea from the beginning. I did nothing to stop it, though. So I'm pretty guilty too, I guess. But honestly, who thought it'd be a good idea to record a bunch of racist jokes, and put it on the end of your band's demo? It's a damn good thing anyone who ever listened to that demo, never got past the first 30 seconds of the first track. I kind of feel bad about shit talking a band that I wasn't even in, but had members that I am friends with. But I don't actually feel bad, because I'm fairly certain they all feel the same way. Plus, I've been in some terrible bands in my day, too. But I've never made racist bonus tracks for my bands. Although, I did seem to have some sort of irrational prejudice against emo kids. But that's the environment I grew up in, man. I know that doesn't justify my prejudice, but a former ska kid could only be so tolerant of breakup songs that aren't about your girlfriend leaving you for another girl. I listened to really dorky music. Oh well. I don't regret it. In conclusion, secret tracks are for dorks in most cases. That's science, kids.

Alright. I think that was a good enough lesson for all of you today. Don't you think? I'm going to go to bed and read a little before I fall asleep. I have my last Marketing and Morals classes tomorrow! Pretty exciting, eh? I guess I still have to go to the final for Marketing, and I have to write an essay for my Morals class, but no more actual class after tomorrow! And then I just have to present a project on Friday, and I'll be done with World Music classes, as well. What an exciting thing! Alright. Catch you kiddles later!

My Hands. My Penis.

Well, as the weatherman predicted, it snowed today. I was sitting in my basement with my brother early this afternoon. He was playing video games, and I was on the computer. That's called hanging out, dudes. But I was suddenly flooded with status updates involving snow. And all I could do was let out a groan. This groan was for two reasons. The first reason was obviously just the mere fact that it was snowing. The second reason I was groaning was because I was finding out about snow without ever having to look out the window. Technology, man. It's ruining everything! But just to satisfy myself, I got up from my seat, and checked outside just to confirm that it was snowing. And it was. Lame. Now I'm not a big snow fan as it is, but I was just thinking about how I had to drive to work in the snow. Driving in the snow wouldn't be nearly as bad if it weren't for the fact that most drivers forget the basics of driving when it's snowing out. It amazes me how people can become the worst drivers ever when there's any sort of unideal weather going on. So I spent my ride to work stuck behind the guy going 30mph in the left lane. Sure, I understand the desire to be safe, but don't clog up the highway for the people who know what they're doing. It's ridiculous! It's all just making me so angry! Nah. I'm not really angry. But I do just so happen to be very very tired. So I think I'm cutting this one very short tonight. I'm sorry guys, but I can't type when I have these huge yawns happening a couple times every minute. So it looks like tonight's entry will be nothing more than a short snow rant. But that's pretty neat, right?! Shoveling driveways blows! Cleaning your car off before you can drive anywhere bites the big one! The cold can get fucked! See?! We're having fun here! Alright. I need to go to bed before I fall asleep here. Then all you'd be reading is ZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZ and nobody wants to read a bunch of Zs for eight hours or so. That'd be crazy boring. Unless I subconsciously wrote out some sort of sexy dream I was having at the moment. I should get into writing trashy romance novels. I'd be great at that shit. But I guess that's a venture for another time, because I'm finally ending this and going to bed. See you when I see you!

Fly A Kite If You're Bored. Take A Nap If You're Tired

Fuckin' cavities, man. Am I right?! I don't have any right now, but they're pretty lame, yes? Although, I actually kind of like the whole process of getting them filled. I just lay back and zone out while the dentist goes to town. Sure, it kind of smells bad when the drill is grinding against your teeth, but conversely, I really enjoy the feeling of the water and bits of teeth bouncing off my bottom lip as the dentist drills. Some people are bothered by the drilling noise, but not me. I'm too busy looking at the painting of flowers on the wall to be bothered with drilling noises. So yeah. Cavities are a bummer, but I don't mind getting them filled all that much at all. The last time I got fillings, I was still quite numb in the face after the whole procedure was done. So after getting my new toothbrush from the dentist, I started making my way home. But I wasn't about to let this numb face go to waste. So as I'm driving myself home, I'm simultaneously punching myself as hard as I can in the face. And I did this pretty much the whole way home. I can only imagine the horror on any motorist's face who peeked into my car as I was giving myself the beating of a lifetime. But hey, how often does one get to beat the hell out of himself without any repercussions? Not often enough. That's for sure. You know... Aside from those really rough masturbation sessions I know you all love. Perverts. Although, I guess it's me that's the pervert for knowing about all of your masturbation habits. Well don't I have egg on my face.

No. I do not.

So I hear this new MTV series Jersey Shore is a real riot. Now don't get me wrong. I love to laugh at the misfortunes of what these trashy Jersey types find to be the cat's pajamas, but I feel like watching that show would just be way too much of a loser overload. I mean, there's only so many blowout haircuts, wifebeaters, spray tans, and kissy faces I can take in a single sitting. I don't want this show to ruin the magic for me. So I think I've made it official. I will not watch the Jersey Shore of my own volition. Sure, if a friend is really into it, I'll gladly view it with them, but that's where I draw the line. But mostly, I just don't know what channel MTV is on my television. I did recently come across VH1, though. I was flipping through channels, and I saw Sex Rehab with Dr. Drew, and I was all about watching that. Now that's some quality television. I think my favorite person is the gay British guy who is only into straight guys. He comes off as a tough guy, but he's all about his gal pals. He's great. And Dr. Drew. Man, what a gorgeous dude. You all agree with me, right? For an older dude, he's got it going on. I know Kate agrees with me. That episode of Chelsea Lately I saw with him on it was pure gold. By the way, I watch a lot of girl shows when I hang out with Kate. I'm not even ashamed. It's a great time. But mostly I watch shows concerning food. Whether it's Top Chef on Bravo, any of the food shows on the Travel Channel, or most anything on Food Network, I will watch it. I don't like most of the cake shows, or Unwrapped, but everything else is pretty great. But all of my food shows that I love can sometimes lead to scheduling conflicts. The latest case of this is this coming Wednesday at 10PM. Not only is it the Top Chef Season Finale, but it is also Man Vs Food at Rutgers. And Adam is eating at the Grease Truck or whatever that sandwich truck is at Rutgers. And I just want to be really jealous of Adam for getting to eat the sandwiches that I should be eating. I really need to go down to Rutgers and visit Kate sometime. She's surrounded by great food. But on the other hand, there's no way I can miss the season finale of Top Chef. I need to see my boy Kevin cream those two cocky brothers. Fuckin' Voltagios, man. Thank goodness none of this is actually an issue, though. Thanks a ton, DVR! But can we talk a minute about how Man Vs Food is a great show, but Adam is the single scummiest dude on the planet. Even aside from the fact that he's a total and complete dork, he has this really lame frat boy mentality. But he just comes off as some frat boy reject. That's right. He's not even cool enough to be a loser frat boy. I also get the worst vibes from him every time he has some cute chick in the audience give him kisses for good luck. He's just a creepy dude, and I don't like him. He also makes some of the worst jokes I've ever heard. But god damn if that show isn't great. It may be a monument to excess, but I love watching him eat all of that food. I do always root for the food, though. But seriously, great show. Shitty host. He's no Anthony Bourdain. That's for sure.

Alright. I think that's about all I've got for tonight. I'm going to watch my brother kill some dudes in Assassin's Creed II for a bit, and then I'm headed to bed. I've got a busy day ahead of me, after all. That's actually not true. I have work at 5, but that's about it. There will be a Canucks game on. So that's something to look forward to! Yeah! Alright! Tomorrow's looking up! So I'll see you then, faithfuls!

Toilet Beej Weekend

So I was about to be on my ride home from work today, and I was thinking of what tunes I wanted to have playing to keep me awake on my drive. I was scrollin' through the ol' iPod and I landed on The Future Kings of Nowhere. I hadn't listened to them in awhile, so I was all about busting that out, because their self-titled album is just the best. Needless to say, it was a pretty great ride home. Lots of singalongs by myself. Cut to about 45 minutes ago. I was browsing the internet, and decided to take a peak at the Future Kings of Nowhere site. What's the first thing I see when I get on the page? Shayne, the brain behind the music, was diagnosed with cancer a little over a week ago. What a huge bummer that was. But after reading up on the blog him and his brand new wife set up to document the process of becoming healthy again, I saw that they were remaining very positive about the whole situation, and that everything was going well so far. They even put a short video up of their last minute wedding they held at the hospital. It's still a scary thing, though. And that was the last thing I expected to read when checking up on one of my favorite bands. But I do plan on keeping up with that blog to make sure things keep going well, and that Shayne makes a full recovery. If any of my readers would like a link to that blog, the URL is http://thismachinekillscancer.tumblr.com Reading their optimistic outlook on the whole situation really helped soften the blow of hearing the bad news. And I know I've never even seen The Future Kings of Nowhere, much less met Shayne, but the news and blog really had an impact on me.

But in more personal news, I think I may have joined a band on Wednesday morning. I'm not sure, but I was woken up by a text from my friend Chris asking if I wanted to join his band Swear Jar. I told him that I'd love to, but being that I already have to drive to Meriden frequently for my job, a practice schedule in Windsor might be pretty rough on me. So he offered me the position of the guy who only plays for shows. He said he'd send me the songs, and I could learn them on bass at home, and just play with the band whenever they had a show. Now that sounded like something that I could handle. I'm sure I could fit in a real practice here and there too. So I told Chris I'd be more than happy to fulfill that position in the band. I never got a response from that text, but it sounds like I'm in the band. I guess I'll know for sure soon enough. But either way, it was a nice way to wake up on Wednesday.

As for the rest of Wednesday, I didn't do too much until around 8, when Anthony came over and we headed out to the world's greatest diner, Elmer's! This was to be our pre-show meal even though I had already eaten dinner only about an hour before that. So I ordered myself a grilled cheese with tomato, because I didn't want to just watch Anthony eat. Especially considering he got a turkey club without the lettuce and tomato, and with a side of extra mayo for dipping. Now I'm not one of those irrational people who hates mayo. Sure, the idea of it is revolting, but it's really great in moderation. But watching Anthony dip his sandwich into a cup of mayonnaise always makes me want to blow chunks. But I survived that meal without losing my last one. And from there we took a ride down to Main Street, parked in a parking garage, and then took a lovely walk to one of the many bars you can find up and down Main Street. Well, I guess this one is just off Main Street, but close enough. Yes, we went to Cousin Larry's. Were we there to get smashed? Not a chance! We were there to see the band Fake Problems play! So we pay the $5 cover, and walk into the mostly empty bar. Anthony walks over to the arcade bowling machine, and plays ten frames. He did very... eh. Better than he ever could have done with a real bowling ball. That's for sure. So after that, we just shot the shit for awhile. Some guy who worked there told me that my band should play on Open Mic Night. I told him I'd look into it. (Get ready, Easy Chowder!) But mostly, that guy just wanted us to get off the pool table so that he could play some pool with his pal. Pool Pals. Soon after all that the band Play It Faster took the stage. They were Fake Problems' opening act. I had seen them before at Chris' (The same Chris from before. You know, asking me to be in bands and whatnot) house. And they're definitely not bad, but they just write really long songs that tend to get boring fairly quickly. But they put on a pretty solid set, regardless. Then Fake Problems went on. Now by this point, there weren't very many people present. Aside from Anthony and me, the other band and two other people were the only ones there for the show. There were some people who were just there to take advantage of the bar, but even those were not so plenty. This didn't stop Fake Problems from putting on a killer set, though. They've got some great stage presence, and very witty stage banter. In between each song, the bassist would tell us about these kids in their hometown. These kids would go to all of the local shows, and they created a club around it. They call themselves Dudes Night Out. They have a club leader and everything. It's completely legit. But the bassist would talk about the members by their names, as if that was supposed to mean anything to us. But it was completely hilarious. (Just so you know, I just took a break from writing to have a cream puff and some milk.) At one point, the bassist started talking about how his girlfriend came from CT, and how we grow our girls well here or whatever. Then one of the bar patrons took it upon himself to yell "Connecticut sucks! Nothing good comes out of Connecticut!" When I heard that I rolled my eyes and gave a nice big groan, but it didn't compare to him following it up with "Except Hatebreed!" Really? If you had to pick one thing to be proud of Connecticut for, you'd pick Hatebreed? To each his own, I guess, but damn. It must really suck to be that dude. Either way, I think the heckling was all in good humor, because the band had a good laugh, and the guy wasn't heckling during songs or anything. But anyway, Fake Problems played a really great set. I talked to the singer a little bit after they finished up, and just made sure that he knew that Hatebreed was far from the best thing that Connecticut had to offer, and he seemed relieved to hear that. I know I would be. Then Anthony took a walk through the rain back to the parking garage. Then he drove me home and I went to sleep very soon after that. But it was a pretty great time, overall. The bands were nice, the people running the bar were nice, and it was just a nice time. I'd definitely go see a show there again, even if it was pretty empty.

Well that's all I have for you today. If I had to grade this entry, I'd give myself an A+. I'm pretty damn great. I think what makes this entry so great is that some of my readers are really jealous of the fact that I saw Fake Problems. Suck it, pals! Alright. Well I have been yawning heavily throughout my whole time typing this, so I think it would be prudent if I headed to bed. I've got World Music tomorrow. My second to last one. That probably means I'm going to have to piece together and present my project next week. I can handle that. No problem at all. So I'm going to go to bed now and dream of palm wine music from Sierra Leone and Liberia. Of course, that makes me wonder if it's possible to fall asleep within a dream, because that's a really boring thing to dream about. I hope I don't have some sort of endless cycle of boring dreams and never wake up. Oh well. Wish me luck with that! Bye, chums!

Tortillas

Hey, dudes. So I'm going to skip Thursday and Friday in my chronicling of my Thanksgiving break. You see, Thanksgiving day is boring because it's spent with family. Yaaaaaawn! The only real highlight was getting kidnapped by my young female cousins and being dressed up by them. Sure, it wasn't a highlight for me, but I'm sure all of you would have had a laugh. It involved me wearing a giraffe mask and a lot of doll clothing. I was made a fool of, for sure. Oh, I also had pumpkin mousse, and it was absolutely amazing. I may have mentioned that in last night's blog. I don't remember. But aside from great food and looking like a fool, there's not much story-worthy about Thanksgiving day. This is the same case for good ol' Black Friday, too. I just worked a nine hour shift from 6am to 3pm, almost died while falling asleep on the drive home, then went to Christian's and played Assassin's Creed 2 for about 7 hours. So I was awake for a full 24 hours before finally going to bed on Friday. You'd think I'd have more stories after being awake that long, but I do not. I wasn't invited to cool Black Friday parties with robots and baby pictures like SOME of my readers. But I was just as happy playing video games until I was falling asleep all over myself.

But fortunately for all of you, Saturday was a bit more eventful. Sure, I ended up working for most of it, but it was a great day at work, and afterward I headed to Christian's again. But this time, Kate wasn't out partying, so she came along, as well. I guess, all in all, we didn't do too much, but there were definitely highlights. For example, Christian's family was serving my favorite tacos ever. The filling doesn't even really matter, because I could have been just as happy eating their homemade tortillas. I swear to god it makes all the difference in the world. Eating a freshly made tortilla is such a treat for me. I don't even know anyone else who makes homemade tortillas. So by the end of the night, I ended up having three very large tacos. I also ended up having a piece of cake, because I always eat a ton of food while at Christian's house. Even though it's not really all that important, I guess I'll let you know what I put inside my tacos, though. I filled all of them with refried beans, taco sauce/salsa, cheese, tomato, and onions. You see, when the tortilla is that good, you don't need a lot of filler at all. So my simple fillings were the perfect compliment to the delicious tortilla. I'm sorry I'm talking so much about the tortilla, but it's just soooo good! None of you understand me, anyway! But really, I'm just stalling with all this tortilla talk, because I'm realizing that not all that much happened other than eating. A little bit of Guitar Hero was played, but Christian's the only one who's any good at that. Then I think we just watched TV the rest of the night. We were switching between Road House with Patrick Swayze and Dogs 101 on Animal Planet. But that raises the question: How come nobody told me about Dogs 101 earlier?! Didn't you all realize that I would love to just watch dogs hang out on television all day? I mean, sure it doesn't beat hanging out with real dogs, but since real dogs are not always available in my life, a show about cute puppy dogs would be perfect. How dare all of you keep that show from me! You're all selfish, bad people. But really, I guess we didn't do too much other than that. I don't mind that in the least. I'm perfectly happy sitting around and doing nothing with my two best friends. That doesn't make for good reading, though. I hope I'm not striking out here.

Oh well. I guess I'll cut that one off before I start really rambling. So I'm going to a show tomorrow at a bar in town! That's pretty neat, eh? I'm going to see the band Fake Problems. I'm pretty excited about going to see shows in Danbury. Sure, I used to do it all the time, but now there's not as many great shows in the fancy city I live in. So it's always a nice treat to get a good show around here. So that's what Anthony and I will be doing tomorrow night. And then I'll probably go to bed right after the show, so I can be up bright and early to go to work. Fuckin' responsibilities, man. Shit sucks. They're fuckin' lucky I enjoy it when I'm at work. It's just driving there and back that's a killer. Oh well. You guys don't want to hear me complain about that. In fact, I should probably just wrap this entry up now. I think I've ranted about tortillas more than enough by now. I may not write tomorrow, but I'll get all of you kids the day after that. I'll have a neat show to tell you all about. It'll be great. Alright. Bye, kids!