State of the Internet Address

My break from the internet seems to be finished. Sure, I was gone for awhile, but I was out getting ammunition for all my loyal readers. Plus, I know not posting just made you want it more, you dirty fucking perverts. But I was just sitting here bored on my computer, and figured I'd get back to updating this thing. I've missed all you guys. I just haven't been on the internet long enough the past couple months to give you guys the lowdown on what's happenin' in the world today. But here I am! What will I start off with? The State of the Union Address? That'd be great, but I didn't watch it. Not because I didn't want to, but because I was out being a social butterfly. Same reason I haven't been keeping you guys in the loop. But I did make up for missing the State of the Union by watching Obama talk to a crowd of Tampa Bay citizens. Sure, I only caught the end of that, but I know Obama's going to build a whole bunch of fast trains. I'm pretty psyched about that. The rest of the world has fast trains. There's no reason we shouldn't, as well. But yeah, look forward to crazy fast trains coming in America's future. I guess while Obama was State of the Union-ing last night, I was cruising erect dongs with my pal Anthony on chatroulette.com. If you guys haven't heard, chatroulette.com is a website where it randomly links you up in a video chat with other people using the site. Most of the site's users are just dudes masturbating to the camera. That's cool. Whatever. But these guys have the nerve to get pissed off when I watch them beat their meat. What are you doing choking the chicken on the internet if you don't want me to watch? Fuck. It's a backwards world we live in, guys. Alright. Enough about the shameful state of the internet.

So this past weekend, my pal Christian and I went on a little trip. We packed up my car full of musical instruments and a strong sense of adventure, and made our way to New Brunswick, New Jersey. We were on our way to Rutgers to visit our pal and bandmate Kate, record some music, and eat food at the same eateries that Adam from Man vs. Food ate at. It was a Wet Hot American Winter if I've ever seen one. After we got there, and unpacked the car, while looking like some dudes in a really cool band to any passerbys, we were feeling pretty hungry. It's a pretty famishing job feeling as cool and superior as we do. So we crossed the street and headed over to the RU Hungry Grease Truck. The place was hoppin'. Everyone was in line to get a fat sandwich. That's one of their things. All of the sandwiches have the word "fat" before them. So I grabbed myself a Fat Mojo, which was chicken fingers, mozzarella sticks, honey mustard dressing, and french fries. Oh yeah. All of the sandwiches have fries piled on them. They're also some of the best fries I've ever had. But anyway,Christian got the Fat Moon, which was chicken fingers, bacon, egg, french fries, lettuce, tomato, mayo, and ketchup. On the menu, lettuce and tomato were listed as L.T. Christian had no idea what it meant at first, and being that L.T. was listed right next to Mayo, he referred to it as Lieutenant Mayo. We all had a great laugh. Kate got herself a Fat ZBT, which isn't surprising considering her devotion to Greek life. But her sandwich was a can of Busch Lite in a grinder roll with fries on top. But really, I just don't remember what Kate's sandwich was. It did have barbecue sauce on it, though. I love barbecue sauce. Man, all I talk about on this blog is food. Well I'm not stopping now. There's two more meals we had in Jersey, and plenty of snacks. But before we ate again, we took a drive to an apartment that Kate was thinking about moving into. We were led around the apartment by some kind-hearted Jersey native. He was a big guy, and seemed like a Jersey stereotype, but he was a good dude who loved his family. I'd lease an apartment from him any day. But the apartment was really nice. It was very tall. Lots of headroom. I liked the looks of it quite a bit. Too bad that doesn't matter. It ain't my apartment. But after the apartment, we headed to Stop & Shop to prepare for the breakfast we'd be making the next morning. On our way to the grocery store, we were faced with the strangest of occurrences, though. We were stopped at a red light and some people on the side of the street were trying to get our attention. They seemed to be trying to get us to look at the other side of the street. Maybe they just didn't like our faces. Or MAYBE they were trying to get us to look at the goat hanging out in the driver's seat of a car parked on the side of the road! What was a goat doing in a parked car on the streets of Jersey? It was absurd to say the least, but I wasn't about to question it. I'm sure he worked just as hard, if not harder than anyone else in order to get his license. Far be it from me to judge a goat in a car. And eventually the light turned green, and we were on our way to the grocery store. The grocery store was pretty boring. We grabbed pancake stuff, home fries stuff, and saw some disgusting looking rotten fruits and vegetables. Fuckin' Jersey, man. So we headed back to Kate's dorm finally and just hung out for a bit. Eventually we worked up the desire to start recording music. It started off smoothly, and we laid down a bunch of tracks. Then we started being a bunch of silly geese, and started getting nothing done. Unless playing around with my keyboard's accompaniment setting, and creating lovely renditions of Big D and the Kids Table's classic hit Noise Complaint. Talk about a bad song. Am I right? But then we got semi-focused and...

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Sorry. I took a break mid-sentence to go have dinner. Where was I? Oh yes. We got semi-focused and started to lay down vocals. We didn't get anything done, but we were pretty focused. We had some pretty good takes, but Kate was having an issue with making up words. Like "ploe." Really, Kate? That's the word you're going to make up? Really? Oh well. We didn't get any vocals done, and eventually gave up on recording. I think somewhere before we gave up on recording we also went out to dinner. For dinner, we took a walk over to a stromboli place that Man vs Food also visited. Apparently, they had a huge selection of beer there. So it was packed with college kids, for sure. It ended up being worth it, though. The food there was killer. Having been so jealous of Kate's barbecue sauce lunch, I opted to get a pulled pork stromboli. Great choice on my part. It was delicious. Christian got some classic Italian stromboli, and Kate got some huge broccoli stromboli. She was planning on saving some of it to feed her for a week afterward. The bread they made those strombolis with was the best. Jersey has great bread. Okay. Now we're caught up on dinner. So we gave up on recording, and started playing some Super Smash Bros on Kate's N64. We all ended up winning, because we all had the most fun. Then it was bed time. Kate went into her room, and Christian and I had the common room to ourselves. So we watched Fight Club and then fell asleep. The next morning we had every intention of recording, but we didn't. We did make breakfast, though. Christian tried to impress us with his great pancake making skills, but just embarrassed himself. So Kate took over, and made dumb silver dollar pancakes. So it was on me to make perfect pancakes. And wouldn't you know it, I pulled through. Just another thing I'm the best at. I made some beautiful blueberry pancakes that I had with a lovely boysenberry syrup. Kate did make some great home fries, though. That's why we call her potato girl, after all. The rest of our Jersey adventure involved playing some more N64, meeting Kate's friend/future roommate and her dog, and watching the first half of the Jets game where they lost to the Colts. But yeah, then we left and concluded our Jersey adventure. Now we just need to finish recording at some point. Know what I mean, dudes?!

Well how's that for getting back on the horse? And if I'm not mistaken, this is also my 60th entry. What a significant number! I'm not sure what it's significant to, but that's not important. It was a great weekend, and now I'm back home being a cool dude. You know, working, hanging out with pals, posting in blogs, wearing sunglasses. Cool dude things. Yeah, you probably wouldn't know. Well I hope you all enjoyed my triumphant return as king of the internet. Hopefully, I'll keep up with this thing. But don't expect me to choose you guys over hanging out with real friends. See you when I see you, blag!